"Verstitution" Pt4

Audio commentary after Pt4

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Pt3: https://rumble.com/v6wvls8-flash-boil-frog-tyranny-and-verstitution-pt3-in-description.html
2: https://rumble.com/v6wu6t0-verstitution-pt2.html
1: https://rumble.com/v6wr240-verstitution-pt1.html

Madison: "Hello?"

Ernest: "Hi, Ms. Holloway."

Madison: [Furious] "YOU! WHY?! WHAT?!"

Ernest: [Immune to her fits, laughing silently] "Change of plans; I'm going to be at the mini golf course."

Madison: "Why can't you simply knock on my door? I'll be ready for you by 7 or 8PM, so come 'n' get it."

[Regrettably, Madison falsely raised the hopes of a site member in the middle of a private web chat session by answering with the speaker phone.

Ernest finishes his lunch, and pays his tab with the enormous cash tip while the bouncer stands to his immediate right with his arms folded across his chest: sneering and squinting out of pessimism, suspicion, and envy. The bartender didn't explain the reason for the $250, so the bouncer is also worried about the bartender's safety and Ernest's sanity.

As Ernest exits the bar section of the bowling alley and heads for his car to relocate to the miniature golf course, the bartender explains the rationalization for the large tip.]

Bouncer: "Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?! You had me treating that kindly lawyer like a scumbag with my body language and facial expression."

Bartender: "Emotional reaction. I got a two-fer."

[The bouncer nods, stoically. The bartender frowns in disappointment.]

Bouncer: "Gotcha! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

[The bartender frowns for having been had, smiles at the bouncer's amusement, then frowns again for having to return to work.]

[Having some time to kill before Frank and Larry recover from their hangovers, Ernest familiarizes himself with the mini golf course. After 9 holes, he sees from his gold pocketwatch that it's time to call the honor farm.]

ACDC rep: "Alcott County Development Corps. How may I direct your call?"

Ernest: "May I speak to Larry or Frank, please?"

Rep: "They're both available. To whom would you wish to speak, and to whom am I speaking?"

[Ernest remembers "Hi" vs "50" from his conversation with the jail clerk, so he opts for Frank.]

Ernest: "I'll speak to Frank, please, and this is Ernest Kittenish."

Rep: "Thank you. One moment while I transfer you."

[The Pretenders' "Back on the Chain Gang" plays for 10 to 15 seconds while Ernest waits on hold.]

Frank: "This is Frank. Mr. Kittenish?"

Ernest: "Yes. I'm supposed to report today, but I figured you and Larry could meet me over at the miniature golf course rather than me making a needless round trip."

Frank: "You automatically assumed that we'd want to play mini golf with you, and that we wouldn't care about you officially reporting to the site?"

Ernest: [Nervous] "Well, uh..."

Frank: [Laughing to break the ice] "Right on, man! Do you mind if we bring a 3rd player? She LOVES mini golf!"

Ernest: "Sure. That's fine with me."

Frank: "She's off work at 2:30, so we'll be there around 3. $25 per person, per hole, and winner takes all. Sound good?"

Ernest: "Yeah, that works for me. I'll see you in about an hour."

Frank: "Yep. See ya soon." [Click]

[Ernest emerges from the arcade, where he was using a pay phone, to continue with hole 10 on the advanced course. A few minutes before 3PM, he walks over to the cashier's counter to await his party.

He suddenly realizes that the lack of facial recognition will be mutual, but there is likely a P.A. system for lost children and less urgent circumstances. A few more minutes pass, and he notices 2 men in plain clothes with 2 uniformed officers behind them. There also seems to be another person behind the officers.

Ernest gasps upon seeing that the person behind the officers is the jail clerk. She's seen him, so he knows that he can't run.]

Jail clerk: [Pointing at Ernest] "That's him."

[The officers sidle Larry and Frank, and then step ahead of them.]

Officer 1: "Mr. Kittenish?"

Ernest: "That's me."

Officer 1: "I'm Detective Tracy, and this is Officer Cockburn."

Ernest: "Nice to meet you. May I help you with anything?"

Detective Tracy: "No. We're here to play 18 holes."

Ernest: "Really? In uniform?"

Officer Cockburn: [Laughing] "Some crazy ladies stole our clothes, and we're here from out of town on assignment. Phyllis called and asked if we wanted to join her and a couple of friends for some mini golf, so we grabbed our spare uniforms from the car trunk and rode with Frank and Larry in the agency's minivan."

Ernest: "Dick... Tracy? Cockburn? Are you guys... uh...?"

Dick: "Yeah, you guessed it. Strippers."

Ernest: "Male strippers?"

[Phyllis, the jail clerk, begins laughing so heartily that she has to excuse herself to the ladies' room to blow her nose from crying.]

Dick: "Please, dude?! Now you're just being insulting!"

Ernest: "No, it's just such a socially conservative town."

Cockburn: "And you've never known generally conservative women to cut loose at a bachelorette party?"

Ernest: "Fair point, and sorry for the unintended insult."

Dick: "It's all right. No offense taken."

[Phyllis returns from the ladies' room: her eyes still watering from all the laughter.]

Ernest: "So, Phyllis... You didn't report me for robbery after all?"

Phyllis: "Ha ha ha! No. I dialed into my voicemail as a joke."

Ernest: [Feigning amusement] "Good one! Would you all please excuse me while I make a quick phone call?"

[Everyone agrees with nods, declarations of, "Yeah, sure," etc. Ernest walks over to the pay phone near the restrooms.

While relieved and amused, Ernest is worried about his wallet losing weight without justification.]

Ernest: "Hello... Madison?"

Madison: [Rage] "Ooh! You'd better have a good reason to be calling me!"

[A motorcycle simulator player a few feet away hears Madison, looks to his rear, loses his balance, then falls off the fiberglass bike frame. He shouts to Ernest that he owes him 75 cents. Ernest nods at the teen, flashes the "Okay" symbol with his thumb and index finger, then extends his right arm, opening his hand to indicate, "Wait a minute."]

Ernest: "I do, and I'll pay you $5 per minute for this call."

Madison: "$10!"

Ernest: "$6.50. Final offer."

Madison: "$7.50!"

Ernest: "Done. Don't rent that condo. Phyllis was pranking me. Bye." [Click]

[Madison "Star 69s" Ernest.]

Ernest: "Hello?"

Madison: "Is this Ernest, again?"

Ernest: "Yes it is. How may I help you, Ms. Holloway?"

Madison: "We need to work out a minimum for that last call. That wasn't even a minute."

Ernest: "How about $7.50?"

Madison: "I suppose. Fine. Whatever."

Ernest: "You called me, though, and I charge $8.34 per minute for my regular $500 per hour fee."

Madison: "So you're telling me that I owe you 84 cents?"

Ernest: "If we keep going beyond 1 minute and a fraction of a second, it'll be $9.18."

Madison: "What about my money for the condo rental service?"

Ernest: "Could we discuss this later, Madison? I have holes to fill with balls."

Madison: "You have to know how nasty that sounded. What's this conversation going to cost me if we discuss this later, in person?"

Ernest: "$8.34 per minute."

Madison: "Do you realize that you receive almost an extra 40 cents per minute if someone doesn't quite spend an hour with you?"

Ernest: "Are you using an on-screen calculator right now?"

Madison: "What does it matter?"

Ernest: "Are you in video chat with a client?"

Madison: "Yes. Why?"

Ernest: "Doesn't he complain about the personal time he's being denied?"

Madison: "Ernest, Ernest, Ernest... You give way too much credit to the attention span and focus of my site members. 75% or more of them keep me on mute. So long as my shirt and bra are off, they're usually happy. Believe it or not, most of them prefer unintended jiggle while I'm reacting to horror movies or brushing my teeth."

Ernest: "Shocker."

Madison: "What? My insight into the male psyche, or men not caring to hear what I have to say?"

Ernest: "Your insight, Madison. Don't sell yourself so short. This has actually been rather entertaining. I'm going to pay you the $7.50 and waive my fee for your call-back."

Madison: [Rolling eyes] "Gee... Thanks. My whole week is made."

Ernest: "I'm off to the astro-turf."

Madison: "Happy putting to you."

Ernest: "Thanks. Talk to you later, Madison."

Madison: "Bye, Ernest."

[Ernest hangs up the phone and sees that the teen boy has begun playing a more traditional video game. He reaches into his pocket for a few quarters and, by necessity to get back to his party, invades the boy's space.]

Boy: "What are you doin', Mister?!"

[Ernest places the first quarter at the base of the screen, where there is a plastic frame. The boy's distraction has led to his character suffering damage.]

Boy: "You're hurting me! Stop it!"

Ernest: "What are you talking about?"

[Ernest places the second quarter at the base of the frame.]

Boy: "You're going to get me killed! HELP?!"

Ernest: "Shh! Please, son? Stop overreacting. I'm paying you back."

[The cashier hears the testimony of inflicted pain and the cry for help. Frank, Larry, Phyllis, Tracy, and Cockburn are standing within earshot.]

Cashier: "Officers?! Please go help that boy!"

Tracy: "We're not police officers, sir."

Cashier: "Then what are you doing in those uniforms?! You can't impersonate police officers in public!"

Frank: [Looking at the strippers, concerned] "I think he's right."

Cashier: "Security?! Security?!"

[The two members of the security team walk hurriedly to the cashier.]

Cashier: [Wide-eyed and fearful, looking at the guards] One of you please go check on that boy, and one of you take these impersonators into our holding room.

Cashier: [At Frank, Larry, and Phyllis] "So who are you three? I saw you come in with those impersonators."

Phyllis: "I'm Phyllis."

Cashier: "Phyllis, what?"

Phyllis: "Phyllis Willis."

Cashier: "Do you have a middle name?"

Phyllis: "Yes."

Cashier: "And what is it?"

Phyllis: "Amaryllis."

Cashier: "Get teased much?"

Phyllis: "Yes. Will that be all?"

[The cashier looks to Frank and Larry.]

Cashier: "What about you two?"

Larry: "What?"

Cashier: "What are 5 adults your age doing at a mini golf course arcade in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday?"

Larry: "We were planning to play some mini golf, but were waiting on our acquaintance who had to make a phone call."

Cashier: "Your acquaintance? What do you fellas do?"

Larry: "We're supervisors at the honor farm."

Cashier: "And who is that portly fellow allegedly harming that boy?"

Larry: "He's an inmate. It's his first day in our custody."

Cashier: "Really?! He was here practicing for a couple of hours prior to your arrival. What kind of custody is that?"

Larry: "The best kind, but I'm not too thrilled about him practicing."

Frank: "Larry?! Shut up!"

Cashier: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Now things are making more sense. You're gambling, aren't you?"

Larry: "You can't prove that."

Cashier: "The REAL cops are on their way, so we'll let them decide."

Larry: "You never called the cops!"

Cashier: "I didn't have to. We're a national mini golf chain. We're able to afford those panic buttons on the floor, like at the banks."

Phyllis: [Looks to Larry] "If the feds do a GPS tracking history audit on the magnetic strips of the bills that have changed hands between us, that's going to establish probable cause."

[The cashier smiles at Phyllis, then looks to Larry as if proud that justice will be served.]

Phyllis: "But the feds don't care."

Cashier: "We'll see about that, Phyllis Amaryllis Willis! Yeah, we got trouble... Right here in Shiver City... With a capital T, and that rhymes with G, and that stands for golf."

Frank: "You are one strange, sad little rat of a cashier, aren't you?"

Larry: "I bet he was hall monitor in middle school, and the power went to his head."

[Meanwhile, Tracy, Cockburn, and Ernest sit in the holding room, awaiting police interrogation.

An officer who was across the street completing a juvenile shoplifting stop responds to the mini golf course, having been alerted by the silent alarm. She steps into the door of the arcade and approaches the clerk.]

Officer: "I'm Officer Claudia Vanderzanden-Bergenheimer-Jacovich. What is the nature of your emergency?"

[Phyllis, Frank, and Larry do their best to conceal their laughter.]

Clerk: "Vander what?"

Claudia: "Please? Just call me Officer Claudia, or Claudia if you like. I need to know what's happening here."

Clerk: "Is that all one word?"

Claudia: [sighing] No, that's my maiden name and hyphenated married names."

Clerk: "How many husbands do you have?"

Claudia: "Sir, please?! I'm a widow, okay?! It's a tribute. What is your name, and what's happening here?"

Clerk: "I'm Sam. I'm sorry about your husband, but you still have a spare, right?"

Claudia: "DROP IT! WHAT'S WRONG HERE?!"

Sam: "These 3 folks here were planning to gamble."

Claudia: "THAT'S IT?! That's why you pressed the emergency button?! I should arrest YOU!"

Sam: "No. That's not all. I caught 2 men impersonating officers."

Claudia: "Were they assaulting or battering anyone?"

Sam: "No. I think they're just a couple stupid guys in costumes."

Claudia: "That's at least a punishable crime, but it's still no emergency. Please tell me you have something else, or I'm taking you to jail."

Sam: "There was a man apparently injuring a teen boy. We have him in our holding room."

Claudia: "Finally! Something worth my time."

[Claudia begins walking toward the holding room, knowing where it is in having interrogated suspects in there previously.]

Sam: "Aren't you going to cuff these gamblers?"

Claudia: "No. You said they were PLANNING to gamble. If you want to ban them for life, that's up to the manager, but I don't care."

[Phyllis, Frank, and Larry openly laugh at Sam after Claudia has stepped into the holding room. A back-up unit arrives and approaches the counter.

Phyllis: "Officer Claudia is in the holding room... that way. [Pointing to her right.]]

Back-up Officer (BO): "You mean, "Officer Vanderzanden-Bergenheimer-Jacovich."

Phyllis: "She doesn't let you call her Claudia?"

BO: "No."

Phyllis: "Weird."

BO: "Why is that weird?"

Phyllis: "She let Sam call her Claudia. Must be a hazing thing for rookie cops."

[BO smiles patronizingly at Phyllis.]

BO: [Looking to the cashier counter] "Sam? Oh, wow! You're the guy who got kicked out of the youth cadet training program."

Sam: "I don't like to talk about it."

BO: "I can understand why. How many people did you kill, again?"

Sam: "I said I don't like to talk about it. Please go join Claudia."

BO: "No citizen tells me what to do, especially not you."

[BO walks toward the holding room.]

BO: "I'm going over here 'cause I want to, ya know? You're not the boss of me."

Frank: [Chuckling] "That is one immature cop. So what happened, Sam. We could find the records, but we'd prefer to humiliate you publicly."

Sam: "Those are juvenile records. They're sealed."

[Phyllis, Frank, and Larry nearly fall to the floor, laughing at Sam's naivety.]

Larry: "Come on, Sam? Give us one last memory of Maxi Mini Golf, Inc."

*********************

In addition to what was discussed of the [implanted? Easily] memory, not to mention the fact that that's the first time I've recovered a memory of that woman [Crush since my 20s], I had the panorama of 4 creepy guys appearing before me once the dream sequence was complete (Same guys who told me they were going to off The Agitator, now facing treason charges). What's that last bit about? If your thought processees are profound or threatening enough to the authoritards, they probably want "eyes on" and not mere bot interpretation / documentation for future VR distraction from dissident cognition. Most people are "perceive and react", like Andrew B.S. Mucho Grande of The Crappy Imp Agency claimed, but 98% was surely a lie. Andrew was probably experiencing invisible fences to prevent him from crossing paths with analytical types. Andrew must realize that he's a State target in having been selected for Crappy Imp Agency disservice based on his traits of sociopathy and pathological dishonesty.

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