Colbert: ‘How Could it Purely Be a Financial Decision if ‘The Late Show Is Number One in Ratings?’

COLBERT: “Thank you. And now, for the next 10 months, the gloves are off.
(Cheering and Applause)
Yeah! I can finally speak unvarnished truth to power and say what I really think about Donald Trump, starting right now.
(Cheering and Applause)
I don’t care for him. Doesn’t seem to have the skillset to be president. Just not a good fit. That’s all. People have been speculating about the timing of this decision from Paramount, and they are pointing out that last Monday, just two days before my cancellation, I delivered a blistering monologue in which I showed the courage to have a mustache! Obviously, CBS saw my upper lip and boom — canceled! Coincidence? Oh, I think not! This is worse than fascism. This is stache-ism! All right? That’s why the Pringles guy lost his show.”
CATO: “Didn’t know that.”
COLBERT: “No, yeah, Pringles guy doesn’t have a show anymore. So that’s it. I’m gone. Just like — (poofs) — in May. But don’t worry. This beautiful theater will live on as the historic Ed Sullivan Self-Storage. ‘Put your old records where the Beatles performed!’ CBS, our network, CBS, who I want to reiterate, have always been great partners, put out a statement saying very nice things about me and about the show, and thank you to them for that. They clarified that the cancellation was ‘purely a financial decision.’ But how could it be purely a financial decision if ‘The Late Show’ is number one in the ratings?
(Cheering and Applause)
Yeah. It’s confusing. A lot of folks are asking that question, mainly my staff’s parents and spouses. Well, over the weekend, somebody at CBS followed up their gracious press release with a gracious anonymous leak, saying they pulled the plug on our show because of losses pegged between $40 million and $50 million a year. $40 million’s a big number. I could see us losing $24 million, but where would Paramount have possibly spent the other 16 mill — oh, yeah.
(Cheering and Applause)
Oh. Oh, yeah. Still, that’s still a lot of money. I mean, where does ‘The Late Show’ rank? Jim, what other companies lost that kind of money last year? Red Lobster? Dammit! I told them we should stop offering the audience unlimited shrimp. Maya, Maya, take it away. Take it away. So, with those numbers, I gotta say it makes sense we’d be canceled. I get it, guys. And thanks again, okay? Thanks again to the network.”