Tucker on Nicotine: I Never Get Sick, I’m 56, Never Been Inside a Gym

Clark: “What is the hype on nicotine?”
Carlson: “I’m not sure I understand your question. Hype suggests undeserved praise.”
Clark: “Okay.”
Carlson: “And yet there’s nothing about nicotine — “
Clark: “ — that’s undeserved?”
Carlson: “Right. I mean, it’s the idea that you could hype something like this, a naturally occurring compound. I think it’s the only compound ever analyzed by scientists that simultaneously increases mental acuity and relaxation.”
Clark: “Okay. Should I try this with you for the first time?”
Carlson: “So it’s like a natural speed ball. This is how John Belushi died, but this will not kill you. In fact, it will enhance your life.”
Clark: “Okay, don’t give me a super powerful one. What do I do?”
Carlson: “So this is a nine. Are you — do you use nicotine a lot?”
Clark: “No, I’ve never used it. So give me — “
Carlson: “Okay, so we’re not going to actually give this to you, because — “
Clark: “What about the six?”
Carlson: “I think we would start you on a three and — “
Clark: “And that doesn’t — we don’t have it?”
Carlson: “But I think we would prepare you for some nausea. I’m not gonna lie about this.”
Clark: “Really?”
Carlson: “Because this is about truth. This is about the unvarnished veracity of the human experience.”
Clark: “Well, I just had this fascinating doctor on, Dr. Brian Artist, and he was talking about the benefits of nicotine, saying, like, it’ll help your MS symptoms and he doesn’t ever get sick anymore.”
Carlson: “It is — you’re affecting this — my daughters do this. ‘And he said duh-duh-duh-duh-duh,’ and that voice suggests skepticism.”
Clark: “Well, because my audience was a little skeptical.”
Carlson: “I think what I’m hearing you say is, ‘I don’t fully believe everything Dr. Brian Artist was telling me.’”
Clark: “I believe it. My audience — my audience was, like, on the fence. It was a very controversial episode. I believed it. But I haven’t tried it yet because I am worried about the nausea. I mean, he suggested patches and everything to start, you know, cutting those down.”
Carlson: “I wouldn’t do that. I would start with the threes. I would do it on a full stomach. I would prepare to be as aware as you’ve ever been.”
Clark: “As ever as you’ve ever been?”
Carlson: “No, I mean, I don’t overstate, this is not ayahuasca, okay, you’re not going to see visions, but you are going to feel better than you’ve ever felt. And I do think, as someone who’s used nicotine every single day since 1983, June of ‘83, so that’s — do the math with me now, that’s 41 years — I can say I’m in better shape than I deserve.”
Clark: “Do you get sick often?”
Carlson: “I never get sick.”
Clark: “There you go. See?”
Carlson: “I got Covid in 2020, I was sick for two days, and then before then I got food poisoning in El Salvador by eating shrimp, my fault. And then before that I got food poisoning in Nicaragua in 1988, so — I got appendicitis once and I hurt my back and had back surgery from moving something heavy. That’s — that’s my total health history and I’m 56.”
Clark: “All right, we’re trying out.”
Carlson: “Okay.”
Clark: “Okay.”
Carlson: “So I’m not saying nicotine has kept me from — but I’m just saying, as someone who is spotty about exercise — I’m always moving, but spotty about exercise, never been inside a gym that I’m aware of, and I do like pizza, which is bad, and I do have to stop that, but other than that, I’m never sick.”
Clark: “Okay.”
Carlson: “Okay?”
Clark: “All right.”
Carlson: “Ever.”
Clark: “Okay, so then you’ve heard it here first. We’re trying out — “
Carlson: “Well, ask anybody. I mean, how many shows — I mean, I was on TV for 29 years.”
Clark: “That’s true.”
Carlson: “How many shows did I miss?”
Clark: “That’s right.”
Carlson: “None.”
Clark: “The proof is in the pudding.”