The ROAST of Halo Infinite! Part One

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Listen up 343, we're not falling for your lame attempt at a rebrand, you can call yourself "Halo Studios," but we will NEVER FORGET ;)

You've done Halo so dirty. Three attempts and almost 20 years of your games have taken the most popular franchise in gaming into the garbage can. If you won't let me fix it, then I shall roast you.

I didn't want to do this. But you've forced my hand. I think I speak for the community when I say that Halo Infinite is painful for us, not because it sucks, but because it is SO CLOSE to being great, but instead, it falls flat on its face because of OBVIOUS issues.

In this first part of a larger ROAST series, I'm laying into the customization! Seeing as it's sucked away precious resources from the sacred Splitscreen Co-op feature in Campaign, we must be equally as scrutinous in our criticism with their system, and believe me, I'm critical. Moist Critical. I am PISSED at you guys.

Seriously, you add all these dope features and customization options, and drop the ball time and time again. You demand money money money from us like you are providing the greatest live service in the universe, and yet it's a total joke.

When it finally, FINALLY looked like you had caught your stride in season 5, that's when you abandon ship?? For real dude? For real?

I didn't emphasize this enough, but the Developers are probably just doing their jobs, I'm not trying to trash them because we love those guys, but it's the absolutely stupid leadership at 343 that makes this game struggle to run more than my gigantic, fat pet cat as I ride him into battle.

Why can't we use different helmet attachments like in Halo Reach? Why are you always cutting fun glitches and great features/game-modes from the Bungie games? Why can't you ever release with a finished video game? Why does theater suck?

Why is the Halo multiplayer a BRUTALLY cringeworthy "Simulation?" WHY does Halo have to be a plastic toy fest, It was better when there was True Grit, it goes a long way to aiding the soul of the game.

I think that the armor effects, and the kill animations do feel satisfying and cool, which contradicts my realism point, but if they are going to go this route, then do it right. The Armor Kits are such a dumb idea, especially if there isn't anything "Skin" about them!

The Emile Noble 4 skins are a perfect example of what 343 screws up here. No grime, no accuracy on a level that would really show their care and attention to detail. The armor effect restrictions make ZERO sense. These things were always bothering me, and as Halo fans, we need to push back against this laziness, because Halo is so much more than a Fortnite clone.

I love the gunplay and general feel of Infinite, it's what has kept me around, and I have a blast playing quickplay both solo and with the boys. The guns feel good, but, at the same time, it all just feels so empty compared to past Halo games, Halo 4, Halo 3, Halo 2. Infinite should improve and honestly, should not take away, it should only be adding to the sandbox and innovating in mindful ways.

I take a lot of inspiration from the Act Man, his Halo 5 videos inspired me to raise my voice and start making my own vids. As he abandoned Infinite, a new soldier must step up and FINISH THE FIGHT against 343 with the steaming pile of poop that is Halo Infinite.

Brutal ROAST of Halo Infinite: Multiplayer Mayhem or Massive Miss
Halo Infinite ROAST: Campaign Crumbles Under Sky-High Hype
Why Halo Infinite Flopped: A Savage ROAST of 343’s Missteps
Halo Infinite Multiplayer ROAST: Where Did the Fun Go Wrong
Halo Infinite Campaign ROAST: Master Chief’s Misadventure Exposed
ROAST of Halo Infinite: Microtransactions and Missing Content
Halo Infinite Forge Mode ROAST: Creative Chaos or Total Bust
Halo Infinite’s Battle Pass ROAST: Grind Fest or Gamer’s Nightmare
Halo Infinite Co-Op ROAST: Delayed Dreams and Broken Promises
ROAST of Halo Infinite: Open World Ambition Falls Flat
Halo Infinite Season Pass ROAST: Skins Over Substance
Halo Infinite’s Story ROAST: Cortana and Chief Can’t Save It
Halo Infinite Matchmaking ROAST: Servers Stumble, Players Fumble
ROAST of Halo Infinite: Graphics Hype That Didn’t Deliver
Halo Infinite Live Service ROAST: Updates Too Little, Too Late
Halo Infinite Weapons ROAST: Arsenal or Underwhelming Armory
Halo Infinite Maps ROAST: Repetitive or Revolutionary Failure
ROAST of Halo Infinite: 343 Industries’ Biggest Blunder Yet
Halo Infinite Progression ROAST: XP Grind Drives Players Away
Halo Infinite’s Legacy ROAST: Tarnishing the Halo Franchise

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