How to break the chains of child abandonment and abuse: Adam Coleman

"They just want you to acknowledge that you didn't do the best thing, and that they're hurting. That's it. And so, sometimes the parents who are trying to get back in their kids' lives are debating the issue - or if it's a father, [he’ll say,] 'You don't understand. Your mother was doing X, Y, and Z.'

Well, guess what? That child loves that mother. And trying to build a case against someone that they love is going to be a losing battle, especially if you're coming from the weak position of not being in their life.

So, that stuff becomes the noise when it comes to unification. Whatever they say that you did...that's how they feel. That's what they believe.

And maybe one day, they'll be open enough to actually hear your perspective, and then they will make a decision: 'You know what? Maybe I am misremembering that.' But battling them on details is a losing battle, and giving up on them when they do push back will ultimately validate their feelings."

- Adam Coleman, author of “The Children We Left Behind: How Western Culture Rationalizes Family Separation & Ignores The Pain Of Child Neglect”