I HAVE EVERYTHING I WANTED AS A TEEN

3 months ago
124

This video clip reminds me of that regular column in the Reader's Digest magazine titled, "LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE".

Watch, read, and enjoy. I slowed this video clip down 50% for those like me who aren't speed readers.

ENJOY!

HERE IS THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WOULD LIKE TO SAVE WHAT IS IN THE VIDEO. JUST COPY HERE AND PASTE IT TO YOUR WORD PROCESSING APP OR TEXT APP.

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.

I don’t have to go to school or work. 
I get an allowance every month. 
I have my own pad. 
I don’t have a curfew.
I have a driver’s license and my own car.



The people I hang around with are not afraid of getting pregnant, and I don’t have acne. 



Life is great.


I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.



Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.



I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.



I decided to stop calling the batheroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I spent ages in the Jim this morning.



When I was a child, I thought “Nap Time” was punishment. 
Now it feels like a small vacation.



The biggest lie I tell myself is: “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”



I don’t have grey hair; I have “wisdom highlights”! I’m just very wise.



If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.



Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.



Why do I have to press 1 for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone who I can’t understand anyway?



Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.



At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.


I have more friends I should send this to but right now I can’t remember their names.

"Nehemiah told them, “Go and eat what is rich, drink what is sweet, and send out portions to those who have nothing prepared, since today is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”
~ Nehemiah 8:10 ~

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