Missionaries: Doing God’s Work, the Best They Can

I used to think that COVID ended door-to-door missionaries in the United States.

Because, well, that’s the last time I had anyone ringing my bell and asking me if I wanted to learn more about Jesus, from their specific point of view.

My favorite were always the Mormons, because they had talking points, and nothing more.

If you engaged them in conversation, they’d get an odd, deer-in-headlights look.

“He’s off script! This one is off script!”

They couldn’t pivot in the same manner Arnold did in the musical.

They also, and they fully admitted this to me, couldn’t consume modern media, be it in the realm of entertainment, or news.

The Elders keep them cloistered, because…

Well, I suppose that if you allow reality to pierce the bubble that is your illusion, the wisest of the flock are going to say, “Wait a second… The Garden of Eden was in Missouri? Um… no, that’s incredibly stupid.”

(I follow a former Mormon on TikTok, and the way she breaks down the teachings is insane. South Park, the brilliant, beautiful and intelligent cartoon, actually gets the story of Joseph Smith translating the Book of Mormon correct in a way Mormon teachings don’t.

(Apparently if they told people exactly what happened, more of them would wise up sooner.)

Anyway, I still miss missionaries.

The conversations were always fun.

But, I do believe I did scare them.