"If Tony Met Puddy": Skit in Description / Context & Babbling in Audio

Tony: "May I help you?"

Puddy: "I'm here about a job."

Tony: "The manager's not in today. Who referred you?"

Puddy: "Uh... Some friend o' Seinfeld. Kramer, I think."

Tony: "JERRY Seinfeld?"

Puddy: Yeah, that's right."

Tony: "I remember that car."

Puddy: "What car?"

Tony: "JERRY'S car! Are you tellin' me you didn't know AND LOVE that car?!"

Puddy: "I probably sold him the car, but I hated sales. I gotta get dirty again."

Tony: "I don't care about your sales and your dirt! We're on Jerry's car, so let's stay on Jerry's car!"

Puddy: "Nah. When's the manager comin' back?"

Tony: "Either you tell me one thing you loved most about Jerry's car, or I'll make sure you don't get the job!"

Puddy: "Would I be workin' with you?"

Tony: "Of course you would!"

Puddy: "Okay. Never mind."

Tony: "You can't never mind Jerry's car in front o' me! How dare you?!"

Puddy: "I meant the job."

Tony: "The job?!"

Puddy: "Yeah, that's right. See ya."

[Puddy walks away.]

Tony: "Wait?! Come back! I've never gotten the chance to talk shop and love with another mechanic about Jerry's car! It was sleek and black, with the only drawback being that it wasn't a turbo model! Tell me you remember somethin' about it! ANYTHING!"

[Puddy turns around and squints at Tony for a couple seconds.]

Puddy: "Nah. Ya gotta let me go, and Jerry's car, too. I think somebody stole it."

Tony: "I stole it!"

Puddy: "Really?! You do any time?"

Tony: "Uh... well... sort of. They sent me to that OTHER place... but I got better."

Puddy: "You got bitter?"

Tony: "I said BETTER! You know darn well I said better and not bitter!"

Puddy: "You ARE bitter, though, but obviously better if you're holdin' down a job."

[Tony calms down.]

Tony: "Yeah. Better and bitter. I'll give you that one."

Puddy: "Can I go now?"

Tony: "Fine! Go! When you're restless tonight, though, unable to sleep, thinkin' about Jerry's car, don't try callin' me!"

Puddy: "I don't even know your number, or your name."

Tony: "Do you want either of them?"

Puddy: "Nah."

Tony: "Nah?!"

Puddy: "Yeah, that's right."