11. Dear Kiddo, Take My Hand Into Darkness

Let me take you on a journey into the peculiar, perplexing, and downright hilarious moments that eventually brought us to where we are today. This story starts before you came into the picture, back when I was still figuring out life and your mom was busy auditioning for the role of “most enigmatic human being alive.” Buckle up, kiddo, because this ride takes us through sniper dreams, squirt-gun freak-outs, and the Santa Fe Strip Club Circuit That Never Was.