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The Kreelith Empire was Humiliated to Discover That the Body of Humanity is so Hostile
r/humansarespaceorcs
u/ChompyRiley
The Kreelith Empire was humiliated to discover that the body (and homeworld) of Humanity is so hostile to foreign pathogens that even their most devastating bioweapon, The Mireblight Spores, were completely ineffectual.
Simply because the humans and their world are unaffected does not mean that The Mireblight Spores can be underestimated.
The typical effects of The Mireblight Spores on the Kreelith's enemies and their unfortunate homeworlds include:
Nausea, hallucinations, and eventual paralysis
Extremely rapid plant growth, often choking cities within a matter of hours
Mass disruption of electronic signals via random bioelectric pulses from the rapidly multiplying and clingy spores
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Now as to the actual effects on humans?
Mild nausea and joint ache, described by human subjects as 'a bad cold or flu' (see sub document: 'Influenza Virus')
Causes ivy and dandelions to grow faster, irritating the so-called 'soccer moms' because their lawns are now more difficult to maintain.
The bio-electrical pulses from the spores do very little to disrupt the already famously unreliable human technology... Except for causing their 'bluetooth' speakers to occasionally skip a beat while playing jazz.
Some individuals report a craving for canned peaches or smelling an odor that appears to be slightly different for each individual, but is 'reminiscent of old socks mixed with cinnamon' for most.
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Perhaps most humiliatingly of all, a new tiktok trend has emerged: #MireblightChallenge, wherein adolescent humans will deliberately inhale a large amount of Mireblight Spores and attempt to hold their breath for as long as possible.
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Mortified by their 'doomsday spore-cloud' being repackaged as a novelty item and sold as an air freshener, The Kreelith have concluded that humans are highly evolved war-beasts engineered to be completely immune to traditional bio-warfare. For the first time in recorded history, the Kreelith Empire chose to sue for peace rather than attempt to conquer another species.
Their attempts to deduce who engineered humanity have been fruitless, thus far.
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