Les Grossman 3

3 months ago
41

Title: Les Grossman: Anger Management

Genre: Action-Comedy
Rating: R (language, violence, drug use, disturbing levels of unfiltered ego)
Starring: Tom Cruise (Les Grossman), Charlie Sheen (himself), Danny McBride, Salma Hayek, Ice Cube, and surprise cameos.

Logline:
When a court mandates explosive movie mogul Les Grossman to attend anger management therapy after a brutal meltdown at the Cannes Film Festival, he finds himself face-to-face with a chaotic mirror image: Charlie Sheen. Together, the two unhinged icons must navigate group therapy, rage yoga, Hollywood scandals, and a mysterious enemy trying to cancel them for good.

Plot Summary:
ACT I: The Meltdown Heard Round the World
Les Grossman, now fatter, richer, and somehow more dangerous than ever, loses it at the Cannes Film Festival after a French critic calls his latest reboot “Fast & the Ferocious: Afghanistan Drift” “cinematic terrorism.” Les punches out a mime, burns down a press tent, and urinates off a balcony while screaming, “I am the festival!” Viral footage circulates globally.

The judge gives him two choices: prison or court-ordered anger management therapy in Beverly Hills, run by none other than Charlie Sheen—now a certified therapist with a degree from a suspicious Caribbean university.

ACT II: Rage Recognizes Rage
Les joins a bizarre group of anger management attendees:

Danny McBride as a former stuntman addicted to adrenaline and ketamine.

Salma Hayek as a violent fashion mogul with a restraining order from Anna Wintour.

Ice Cube as himself, calm but always one insult away from going “Straight Outta Therapy.”

At first, Les mocks everyone. He screams, belittles, threatens to buy the therapy building and turn it into an NFT warehouse. But Charlie Sheen matches him insult for insult. He drinks tiger blood in session, smokes peyote with a raccoon he claims is his “life coach,” and challenges Les to a “therapy-off.”

They clash until Charlie takes Les to a sacred place: a rundown strip club in Van Nuys where he explains how he lost his mind, his money, and his sitcom, but found “the eternal Tao of chill.”

Inspired, Les finally begins to change… a little. He trades cocaine for celery juice. He tries scream therapy. He hugs a tree (then punches it for looking smug).

ACT III: Cancel the Cancelers
Just as Les is learning peace, a scandal erupts: an anonymous hacker leaks Les' old voicemails, death threats, and an unreleased film called "Osama Bin Bieber" starring Justin Bieber as a terrorist. The internet demands his cancellation.

But Sheen’s not having it. “We don’t get canceled. We cancel cancellation.”

With Ice Cube’s gang connections, Salma’s fashion empire, and Danny McBride's access to stunt gear, the therapy group becomes a guerrilla team. Their mission: track the hacker, a bitter ex-intern turned Silicon Valley moralist, and reclaim Les’ legacy before he's erased.

They storm an AI content moderation fortress in Palo Alto, where the hacker has built a “woke A.I.” that’s erasing problematic celebrities in real time.

Les confronts the machine and screams into it: “I don’t need to be liked. I need to be UNFORGETTABLE!”

The A.I. explodes from the overload of narcissism.

Epilogue:
Les is offered a new deal by Netflix for a 10-picture franchise. He politely declines, choosing instead to produce “Charlie’s Angels: Warlocks of Wall Street” starring Sheen, Hayek, and a hologram of Gary Busey.

Les and Charlie ride into the sunset on matching Harleys, flipping off a TMZ drone.

Post-Credits Scene: Les Grossman receives a mysterious envelope marked “TOP SECRET: SPACE FORCE.” A bald eagle screams. Cut to black.

Tagline:
“Sometimes, to find peace… you have to destroy everything.”

Loading comments...