PSA How to Survive a Human Encounter

r/HFY
u/Wesai

A voice seasoned with static travelled through the air, “Barg’ha jur, bar ali. Horun’a maum.” Heavy rain tried its best to drown it out. “Bahrr harrr harrr, ali umanum,” the raspy sound added.
Two creatures were seated at a round table, paying attention. A tall umbrella, raised from its center to form a ceiling, kept their brown-spotted jackets dry. There, only a faint pink glow from a black rectangular display stood out in the downpour.
The creature holding the device licked its fingers, and then wiped its greasy hands on its jacket, adding yet another dark brown spot to the collection. Upon witnessing that, the display braced itself.
It too got marked.
A bell jingled while a robotic and lifeless voice reacted with indifference, “Language detected. Initiating Bargular speech translation.”
“Nurb harbargh…” the words finally started making sense. “If human eyes lock, it’s ‘redy too late.” Its raspiness was still the same. “Duuude, ‘rite place ya came.”
“Oh shit, listen to this.” One of the creatures in the rain held its device closer to the other. With its attention robbed, the other looked at the display. In it, a yellow entity gave life to the voice. A small snout dangled by its chin, joining the rain in the voice muffling competition.
“Very truth, humans crazy.” The yellow entity smirked, briefly revealing a big crooked molar, standing alone in its empire. “I Larja’. I teach how survive human encounter.