YET ANOTHER TV AD THAT MAKES MY ASS HURT!

I’VE GOT ANOTHER BITCH ABOUT TV ADS
This time I’m picking on Burger King, my favorite lunchtime digs.

*** Stay tuned for a surprise ***

#1. Here’s a nationwide chain with outstanding products and even more outstanding value. I clip out coupons in the mail and visit my BK on a very, very regular basis. I get only the best service and burgers from Juan and his entire crew here in Garden City, Idaho. In fact, I’m their most frequent and favored customer.

#2. I guess what really pisses me off is BK’s latest completely senseless, even idiotic, commercial. They’ve DEI-hired a rapper to try and sing a new version of the Burger King song. This rapper-wannabe-a-singer pulls it off about as smoothly as a V8 firing on only 2 cylinders.

#3. I am not a singer. I’m a trained speaker. This rapper and those producing the ad should realize that he’s far from being a singer. He certainly wasn’t hired for his talent, experience, or merit other than being a DEI hire.

#4. Rap isn’t music, and surely BK’s ad agency knows this. ‘Repeated limerick to a simple beat’, is neither singing nor is it music. Again, BK’s ad agency must know this. Nor does rap require any skill other than to appear in front of a large crowd and make an ass of yourself as you shout poorly rhyming words to a jungle beat.

#5. This jackass does such a bad job of trying to sing this song it makes ya wanna either puke or change channels. Changing channels isn’t nearly as messy. His noise is almost as annoying as those 4-minute-long infomercials where they parade crippled and deformed kids on screen as they beg for money. Is it any surprise Broadcast Television is dying?

#6. I’m not a music critic. But anybody with an ear can see how this ad sucks. I wax critical of bad advertising and poorly written and scripted ads. As a trained and experienced speaker, copy writer, and producer I can tell you that BK isn’t the only major firm scraping the bottom of the barrel for DEI “talent”.

#7. The only explanation is that DEI is alive and well, and Rap is still Music Hell. In the spirit of this advertising travesty, I leave you with my own “rap” performance.