UNBOXING ERIC - A breakdown of All calls from Eric the Midget to Howard Stern

Unboxing Bigfoot — a tragicomedy most strange, wherein the wild man Mark of Shaw, known to knaves and nobles as Bigfoot, is drawn forth from the misty woodlands of Vermont by decree of the great scribe and jester-king, Howard Stern. ‘Twas Stern who, with mirth and madness, did bid the beast speak, unleashing upon the realm tales of Cadillacs undone, transsexual entanglements, and lawmen befuddled by his truth-slurred tongue. And aye, 'tis true—he once did place his wandering finger upon his trusting mailman, an act sung in whispers and restraining orders alike.

Now enter our chorus: Sir Luigi Greenberg, whose appetite for cold steak is matched only by his wit; Lord KC Day, bringer of happy smoke and seeker of clarity in chaos; and the fair enchantress Lady DJ Electra, whose breasteeses shine like twin moons o’er madness. These three noble fools do brave the tale in earnest, recounting every visit, every call, every cursed court proceeding, in reverent jest. For though Bigfoot be oft taken advantage of, and oft his tale dismissed, we say unto thee: let not this legend vanish into fog. For in this tale lies madness, majesty... and a mailbox forever changed, it is.