LAZY ASS LIES THAT MAKE MY ASS HURT

LAZY LIES MAKE MY ASS HURT!
“I’ll call you right back. Let's do lunch.”

#1. Whatta ya do when you’re talking to somebody on the phone and they give you that, “Let me call you back in about 10 minutes. You KNOW they don't mean it. Even with relatives and acquaintances they'll have that "Lazy Lie" come out to play. Of all the “Lazy Lies” the “I’ll call you back,” has to be the most common. It shares in infamy the sort of thing you might say to a transsexual woman-wannabe; “You’re looking good,” and “I really thought you were a woman.”

#2. Briefly talking with a friend on the phone you might get that, “I've got a visitor, let me call you right back.” Yah! Right! Maybe there is a visitor, but that " ... let me call you right back," shit gets old. Yet another lazy lie.

#3. I’m on the phone with my doctor’s office and the clerk says, “Can I have a nurse call you back?” Yah, right! No way in Hell is anyone calling back anytime today!

#4. How about local “talk” radio? Their talking head will say to a guest, “Thanks for the call, let’s get together soon.” You know he’s lying, maybe he knows but maybe he doesn't. Those words drip from his lips and he doesn’t even know it. Then there's the ingenuous reference to the caller as “Our great friend.” Born of laziness and a bad case of “I don’t really give a shit,” it’s just a cheap brush-off.

#5. Too many people today are “brushing each other off” and have they've become so immune to their own rudeness and rhetoric they can't recall what they just said.

#6. I’m an exception to the rule. When I promise to call you or call you back or to meet you, I'll do it! I'm not gonna brush you off like some unimportant piece of shit! Damn! What’s wrong with me? How dare I treat others with respect and civility!

#7. When a caller on my show has good stuff to offer, I’ll say, “Let me have my screener get your contact information I'll call you after the show.” I'll actually do that! Color me considerate! It’s gotten so bad that when someone tells me they'll call me back, it’s all I can do not to say, “Yah, right!”

#8. The same goes with friends. As I leave a friend at the door I'll say something like, “We need to do lunch this week. or "I'll call you tomorrow and let's set something up.” That works for me! I’ll show that person what it means to speak your mind and not toss around those all-too-common “Lazy-Ass Lies.”

#9. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. What’s so damned hard about that? Honesty can be cruel, so watch your mouth. If you can’t find something nice to day, then either don't say it or be prepared to deal with an unhappy person.

And the beat goes on.