A TELEPHONE RELATIONSHIP WITH A BULLY ... IS IT WORTH IT?

IN SEARCH OF REAL FRIENDSHIP
All ‘give’ with no ‘return’ should end it.

#1. This is a tale about Scott and Jim and their ‘all give’ and ‘no take’ relationship. Theirs is a long-standing casual acquaintanceship, but that's where it ends.

#2. They're both ‘chatter boxes’ and love to talk. Their "gifts-of-gab" sometimes get in the way. Getting in the way is Jim's thin skin and incredible hubris. An "I'm always right" attitude coupled with an extreme social sensitivity prohibits friendship with anyone other than himself.

#3. Okay, Jim being the way he is, there can be no future in his relationship with Scott. Scott isn't overly-sensitive to most things, being a little more tolerant than many. Expecting anything other than a brief conversation between these two men is asking for trouble.

#4. No one should have to accede to Jim’s verbal bullying and intolerance. Jim always [I mean always] monopolizes a conversation, insisting that the other person talks too much. He then procedes to bully and 'talk over' people like Scott. Knowing Jim, he couldn't maintain a conversation with his own reflection! I can see him now, bullying himself in the mirror.

#5. Recently, Scott’s wife secretly recorded a forty-six minute conversation between the two men, later timing their individual chats with a stopwatch. The result was a 'not so surprising' score of Scott – 12 minutes, and Jim – 34 minutes. Jim had dominated the phone call by 22 minutes, speaking nearly three times as long as Scott.

#6. Later, she played her recording for Scott. She also gave him her timing report. Scott wasn’t too surprised, but he was a little upset to see how Jim had been such a bully and had monopolized the conversation. She said, “The next time, Jim gets snotty and accuses you of monopolizing the conversation you just show him this.”

#7. Scott should never have to put up with Jim's shit again. He'll reject Jim's tactics where he so often shouts down Scott, saying, “You’re talking over me again. You never give me a chance to finish a sentence.” This is what happens when Scott mistakes Jim's taking a breath as an opening to join the conversation. Jim is only happy when a phone conversation is nothing more than his monologue. He could use a dictionary to look up the definition of "conversation."

#8. Scott could easily show him the stats, and that would shut Jim down with all the punch of a brick through a plate glass window. He understands that Jim can't survive such an indictment and might just fade away into the anonymity of the overly sensitive. Not that would be such a bad thing.

#9. Jim is thin-skinned to the ‘nth’ degree. His job, family, car and even his favorite TV shows are forbidden [verboten] territory where one must tread lightly lest he or she incur the wrath of the overly sensitive. Violation of this 'secret list' of sensitivities brings swift retribution. There remains little opportunity to apply his cold shoulder because practically nobody will talk to him beyond what is absolutely necessary.

Here’s my advice to Scott: “Move on.” Jim is too "High maintenance" and far too immature to keep wasting your time on. Restrict your friendships to adults.