Ops Brief 035: Daily Drop - 28 April 2025 (Ozempic Armies and Boeing's Cracking Problems)

Welcome back to the Ones Ready Daily Drop, where we lovingly sift through Air Force public affairs briefings so you don’t have to—and by “lovingly” we mean “roast everything that deserves it.” Jared rips through the military’s latest fitness failures, missile launches, undersea cable nightmares, and why Boeing can’t seem to build a plane that doesn’t break straight out of the factory.

We also talk about fat reservists gaming the system with "miracle shots," phantom missile tests named "Dark Eagle," politicians who aren’t even worth the dog poop on your boot, and the grim reality of post-GWOT cancer risks. Meanwhile, Microsoft Flight Simulator is somehow making command news because... priorities, right?

If you like your news unfiltered, slightly unhinged, and 100% funnier than the briefing you’ll get from your crusty commander — welcome home.

🔥 Key Takeaways:

Reserve Obesity: Get fit, not Ozempic-dependent, you war hippos.
Equal Opportunity Review: Lying about EOs finally has consequences — bring popcorn.
800 Houthi Targets Smashed: Still not enough, but a good start.
Dark Eagle Missile Testing: Cool name, mysterious results. Sounds about right.
Undersea Cable Wars: China and Russia can just unplug us like a bad Wi-Fi router.
Cancer Spike in Missileers: It's not in your head — get screened early.
Elon Musk and Air Force Drama: Politicians outraged because oxygen still exists.
$68M Cyber Center: Built on philanthropy because Congress spends money like drunken sailors elsewhere.
Microsoft Flight Simulator Gets F-16 Sounds: Top tier priorities while bases crumble.
Signal Chat Drama: Guess what? Still don’t care.
⏱️ Timestamps:

00:00 – Ones Ready Daily Drop Kicks Off
00:30 – Operator Training Summit (OTS) Announcement
01:00 – Obese Reservists and the Ozempic Chronicles
02:30 – Equal Opportunity Witch Hunts Reviewed
03:30 – 800 Houthi Targets... Light Work
04:00 – Dark Eagle Missile: Super Cool Name, Super Vague Test
05:00 – Undersea Cable Vulnerabilities (Seriously Concerning)
06:00 – Airman Death at Aviano
06:45 – Musk vs. Senators: Who's Worse?
07:30 – F-35s Flex in Kadena
08:00 – Cancer and GWOT Veterans: A Deadly Link
09:00 – $68M Cyber Center Built on Hope and Donations
10:00 – Rob Holland Crash Update
11:00 – WWII Remains Repatriation: Real Heroes Return Home
12:00 – F-16 Audio for Nerds Who Sim
13:00 – Space Force Weather Satellite (Finally Functional)
13:30 – Defense Budget Drama and Tariffs Tanking Weapons
14:30 – Boeing: The Plane is Lava
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