💌 THE MORON MAILBAG: Volmit FOIAs His Own Faceplant & Bubbles Cries About Emojis 🤡📬

Gather 'round, kids — it’s time to open up the “Emails from Morons” folder, where Michael "FOIA Flex" Volpe blesses us with another round of weaponized stupidity, thin-skinned tantrums, and the legal IQ of a Waffle House menu.

First up? Volmit files a FOIA to prove… absolutely nothing. But don’t worry — he CC’d half the planet just to make sure we all saw him trip over his own shoelaces. And then, like a sad Alanis Morissette cover band, he hits us with “Isn’t it ironic?” Bro. You quoting '90s lyrics is the most work you’ve put into anything since your mom’s basement Wi-Fi password.

Meanwhile, Bubbles Matzkin is still out here doing legal somersaults trying to explain why he didn’t RSVP to the eggplant emoji. You can't make this up — but they sure keep trying.

We're breaking down all the greasy details and reading these court-adjacent chain emails for what they really are:
📎 Crying into a keyboard.
📎 Legal malpractice in Comic Sans.
📎 A masterclass in how to lose a case and your dignity at the same time.

Tune in while I sip my coffee and roast these clowns into well-done Velcro shoe leather. You don’t want to miss this one.