Buttigieg Opens Up About His Black Adopted Children, Says There Is ‘a Discount’ Depending on Whether You Adopt Black Kids or White Ones

UNKNOWN MALE 1: “Have you thought about like when your son gets older, his experience in the world, probably different from yours —”
Buttigieg: “Yeah.”
UNKNOWN MALE 1: “— like, how would you have those combos with him? Or even let’s say your daughter, like —”
Buttigieg: “Yeah.”
UNKNOWN MALE 1: “— learning to deal with her hair —”
Buttigieg: “Yeah.”
UNKNOWN MALE 1: “— it’s going to be a little difficult. Like how — have — have you thought about these things? Do they concern you, what do you think?”
Buttigieg: “Yeah. Yeah, we think about all the time and it’s not like we have it all figured out. So we were in —”
UNKNOWN MALE 2: “ But if anybody knows how important identity is —”
Buttigieg: “Yeah.”
UNKNOWN MALE 2: “ — you know.”
Buttigieg: “Of course. So we were in a — it was called a surprise adoption scenario. So we — we literally, we got — I was at work, I was traveling. I got a — we got a phone call, Chasten called me, and the next day we were in a rural Midwestern hospital holding him in our arms. And they were like —”
UNKNOWN MALE 1: “Oh, wow.”
Buttigieg: “— one day old. Like, it was like that. Like —”
UNKNOWN MALE 1: “Wow!”
Buttigieg: “— just from like normal life to like — and by the way, it’s twins, which was amazing, but —”
UNKNOWN MALE 3: “You didn’t know it’s twins?”
UNKNOWN MALE 1: “We were just on a list. You know, we — we said that we were willing to adopt, uh, uh, uh, uh — or we, we wanted to adopt. We said that we wanted to adopt and we, without regard for race — by the way, anybody who says race is not a thing in this country should experience an adoption process where there are literally different lists. If you say that you want a white kid only, versus if you say that doesn’t matter.”
UNKNOWN MALE 1: “Wow!”
Buttigieg: “— Like literally a different list.”
UNKNOWN MALE 3: “What is that — what do you — what do mean by that?”
Buttigieg: “The list for white kid only is longer.”
UNKNOWN MALE 2: “ Hmm.”
Buttigieg: “Uh, and not only that —”
UNKNOWN MALE 2: “ Wow!”
Buttigieg: “— there was actually a discount, you didn’t have to pay a deposit.”
UNKNOWN MALE: “On the fee? Discount.”
Buttigieg: “This is like how it works. I couldn’t believe it. So we didn’t know anything about the racial identity of the kids until they started to look mixed race, which they are. And like contending with like the hair thing is already like a thing and like lots of advice — especially from like black parents who like see stuff on Instagram or they’re like, let me tell you how to do it.”
UNKNOWN MALE 1: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Buttigieg: “Like a lot of advices. And like, to begin with, like the idea of being a girl dad and dealing with girl hair was pretty intimidating. Like my hair is like very simple and straightforward. I was like, I’m a low maintenance kind of guy. I’m like starting to learn about like all the different products that are involved him too. Like we have like a whole sequence with — with — with, you know, a conditioner and then essential oils, all this stuff. And you’re always asking yourself, like, how can I be — you’re already constantly asking yourself, how can I be a good dad? And now it’s like, how can I be a good dad for kids who have a different racial identity than I do? And how can I help them navigate that? And — and what are the circumstances where there’s nothing I can do to help navigate that?”
UNKNOWN MALE 1: “Yeah.”
Buttigieg: “And I need to connect them up to mentors and people in their lives. Because the reality is like, this is not a colorblind society. And like their — their lives will be affected in some way by their race — all of ours are. But, one thing about being white is you don’t have to think about the fact that when you’re white, your racial identity is not something that you’re reminded of all the time, in a way that they will be. And — and we live in a — not super diverse, although it’s getting more diverse, part of Michigan. But our hope is that they will, by the time they’re old enough to even be wondering and thinking about these things, which I know is coming sooner than we think, that they know that they are loved and that they are safe and that they’re, growing up in a world that has so much possibility for them.”