He Flipped the Hoffman Super Safety and Summoned a Bald Eagle

4 months ago
64

This may not be a true story…
But it definitely happened.

Chris and Bekah pulled up to the Shooting Academy in Westfield, Indiana in a cloud of dust, bumping “Eye of the Tiger,” wearing matching neon crocs and tactical fanny packs. They weren’t there to mess around (unless “messing around” included absolutely demolishing targets with a Radical Firearms build featuring the legendary Hoffman Tactical Super Safety™ — the safety so super, it practically requires a cape.

Now, rumor has it that when Chris flipped the Super Safety on, a bald eagle screeched in the distance and a nearby cornfield exploded into fireworks. Bekah claimed she saw time slow down. Chris, however, was busy screaming, “TACTICAL BABY!” while mag-dumping with the accuracy of a caffeinated hawk.

The Radical Firearms rifle performed flawlessly — possibly too flawlessly. At one point, the sheer precision of the shots caused a nearby squirrel to salute. A target 100 yards out reportedly whispered, “Please no,” before Bekah obliterated it with what can only be described as majestic chaos.

Bekah, cool as a cucumber in July, was running drills like a Call of Duty NPC on max difficulty. Meanwhile, Chris kept yelling, “CHECK OUT THIS SAFETY!” and flipping the Hoffman Tactical switch like it was a nightclub strobe light. He may or may not have tried to use it to microwave a burrito.

This rifle + Hoffman Super Safety combo is like if John Wick and MacGyver had a baby and raised it on action movies and Mountain Dew. Each trigger pull echoed through Westfield with the faint sound of an electric guitar solo playing in the background.

The Shooting Academy staff? Speechless. One guy dropped his coffee. Another wrote a country song about the experience. A third simply whispered, “That’s not regulation,” and vanished into the mist.

After a few hours of total ballistic bliss, Chris declared he was now “one with the rifle.” Bekah rolled her eyes and immediately nailed a double-tap headshot that made Chris reevaluate every decision he’s ever made.

Was this the most accurate, entertaining, and possibly supernatural firearms session ever? Almost definitely. Did the Hoffman Tactical Super Safety give them +10 to accuracy and +5 to charisma? Sources say yes. Were local pigeons impressed? Also yes.

Would we recommend trying this setup? Only if you’re ready for your range day to become the stuff of whispered legend and folklore.

Disclaimer: No squirrels, cornfields, or microwaves were harmed in the making of this short. Probably.

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