Are you with a Narcissist? Here are the signs and how to deal with them.

How to Deal With a Narcissist
With the right treatment, some narcissists can learn to spot their behavior. This can improve their lives and the lives of those around them. But narcissists often don’t seek help because it doesn’t fit the image they have of themselves.

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you may be able to change your dynamic in the relationship. It may be possible to change the way your partner looks at you to help lessen the effects of their narcissistic behavior. If you spot narcissism in yourself, you might work to develop more self-compassion. This means treating yourself with kindness instead of comparing yourself to others. This can lower your need for praise and recognition.

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If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, try these steps:

Educate yourself. Find out more about the NPD. It can help you understand the narcissist’s strengths and weaknesses. Knowing who they are may help you accept the situation, if you so choose, for what it is and have realistic expectations.

Create boundaries. Be clear about your boundaries. It may upset or disappoint the narcissist, but that’s OK. It’s not your job to control their emotions, says Kimberly Perlin, a licensed clinical social worker in Townson, MD.

Speak up for yourself. When you need something, be clear and concise.

Watch your wording. Narcissists don’t take constructive criticism well. Try to make comments in careful, positive ways.

Stay calm. Try not to react if they try to pick a fight or gaslight you (making you doubt your own reality). If they lash out, think of them as a 3-year-old who feels rejected because their parent sets a bedtime.

Create a support system. Living with a narcissist can lead to feelings of insecurity, confusion, and self-doubt. Make sure you have a core group of people in your life to support you.

Bring in a counselor. Therapy may help. A counselor can show you ways to approach problem-solving with the narcissist.

Certain things may lead to problems with a narcissist. It’s best not to:

Argue or confront. Try not to confront a narcissist directly. As difficult as it may be to constantly tiptoe around them, it can be better to manage their need to feel in charge.

Direct them. Narcissists like to have control and often fear losing it. Efforts to lead or instruct them will often fail.

Expect them to see your point of view. Narcissists don’t like to admit when they’re wrong or that they’re unlovable, so trying to make them see things your way could backfire.

Expect deep, meaningful communication. Narcissists have little to no empathy. So, honest, heartfelt communication often doesn’t get through and can create an angry outburst or shutdown response.

Go over past issues. Don’t try to make them see a long line of behavior dating back years — or how they’re just like their father, for example, Perlin says. Instead, stay in the present when you express requests or hurt feelings.

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Narcissistic Behavior Symptoms FAQs
Is narcissism curable?

No, but it's treatable. Treatment takes a lot of time and effort. People with NPD rarely seek help on their own. But they might seek help for a related issue, such as anxiety. Treatment requires an individualized approach. That’s because there’s no proven medication or therapy to treat NPD. If you have NPD, you can learn how to strengthen your connections to others in healthy ways.

Can you survive marriage to a narcissist?

Possibly. If your partner has NPD, it can be tough. They put themselves first, and your mental health could suffer. Focus on your well-being, use coping ways, and set boundaries. Only you can decide what you’re willing to tolerate.

Do narcissists fall in love?

People with narcissistic tendencies, but not NPD, likely experience love in the same ways as people without narcissism. But people with NPD have traits that are the opposite of the ability to love someone. Those traits include a lack of empathy and tendency to exploit others for personal gain.

Do narcissists lie a lot?

Yes. They lie to retain control, boost their self-image, and manipulate situations for their benefit. Lying can be a way for narcissists to keep their grand self-view, even if it means making up achievements, relationships, or experiences. For narcissists, lying is often habitual behavior, not just a response to specific situations.

What are 5 main signs of a narcissist?

Five main signs of narcissism are a huge sense of self-importance, constant need for admiration, lack of empathy, sense of entitlement, and manipulative or exploitive behavior.