Mount Vesuvius The Great Pimple Catastrophe of 2025

In the small town of Poppington, Ohio, there lived a man named Jerry "Big Red" Thompson, a local diner owner famous for his cherry pies and an unfortunate zit on his forehead that had been growing for years. By April 2025, this pimple—nicknamed "Mount Vesuvius" by the townsfolk—had reached legendary proportions, measuring a whopping 3 inches in diameter. It glowed an ominous red, pulsed with a strange rhythm, and occasionally emitted a low hum that sounded suspiciously like a dial-up internet connection.