Paapa Essiedu as Snape?! HBO’s “Faithful” Reboot Is a MISFIRE!

HBO just cast Paapa Essiedu as Severus Snape in their “faithful” Harry Potter reboot... and we have questions.

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Like: Did someone mix up the character descriptions with a GQ cover shoot? Did Hogwarts merge with an off-Broadway theater group? And are we seriously calling this faithful when Snape now radiates sexy, emotionally-complex protagonist instead of “greasy-haired bat who smells like depression and old parchment”?

In this video, we’re breaking down the chaotic casting choices, the weirdly avant-garde vibes of this reboot, and why Alan Rickman’s ghost might be side-eyeing all of us from the afterlife.

This isn’t about race — it’s about vibes. And Snape’s vibe is resentment in human form, not "haunted-but-hot."

Grab your wand, a calming cup of tea, and maybe a stiff drink. Hogwarts just got weird.

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