Driving Etiquette for Dumb People

Driving should be easy.

You put your hands on the wheel—it used to be 10 & 2, but I guess they don’t teach that anymore, because of airbags—you pay attention to your surroundings, and you watch for other drivers.

That last one is important, because we tend to believe that it means we try not to hit or be hit by others, but I think it’s important to expand the scope of what it means to “watch out.”

I think it should mean, “Be aware other drivers exist.”

All too often, we are inconsiderate, and selfish, when behind the wheel of our car.

More often than not, accidentally so.

Our head isn’t on the world around us, it’s on us, and us alone.

(Or, more than likely, we’re looking at our phone, because why would we ever pay attention to any situation at hand, when we can be looking at social media?)

Which brings us to the driver in this scenario.

This is an enormous pet peeve of mine; a huge source of the road rage I face daily.

When you are turning, and that means either right or left (or, if we’re doing our Duolingo, derecha o izquierda), you can hug side of the road of the direction you are turning.

If that’s right, great!

Hug the curb. 

Allow someone to scooch by you on the left.

If that’s left, wonderful!

Hug the dividing line, and let someone turning right sneak on by.

But my God…

When you sit in the center of the lane and hold up traffic for a dozen people behind you?

I wish herpes upon you.