Mary Todd Lincoln Tells of Becoming First Lady and Wife of Abraham Lincoln, Before his Assassination

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My name is Mary Todd Lincoln, and I was the First Lady of the United States during one of the most painful and pivotal times in American history—the Civil War. I was also the wife of President Abraham Lincoln, but I was far more than just a president’s wife. My life was filled with moments of love, tragedy, political pressure, and personal struggles. Let me tell you my story.

I was born on December 13, 1818, in Lexington, Kentucky, into a wealthy and politically connected family. My parents believed in education, so I received one of the best educations a young woman could get at the time. I studied literature, French, history, and even politics—subjects that weren’t considered "feminine," but I loved them anyway. I was smart, strong-willed, and determined to have a meaningful life.

When I moved to Springfield, Illinois, I met a tall, awkward lawyer named Abraham Lincoln. He wasn’t wealthy or polished, but he was kind, brilliant, and deeply committed to his principles. We got married in 1842 and built a life together, raising four sons. Life was not always easy. We lost two of our children at young ages, which broke both our hearts. Still, we supported each other—especially as Abraham’s political career took off.

In 1861, when Abraham became president, I became First Lady. It was both an honor and a burden. The Civil War tore our country apart, and I had family members who fought for the Confederacy—even as my husband led the Union. I was caught in the middle, and people criticized me constantly. Some said I was too emotional. Others accused me of being disloyal just because I was born in the South. But I loved this country and stood by my husband during every battle, speech, and sleepless night.

I tried to bring beauty and dignity to the White House during such dark times, overseeing renovations and hosting guests. But nothing could prepare me for what happened in April 1865, when I sat beside Abraham at Ford’s Theatre and watched him get shot by an assassin. That moment shattered me. I lost not just a husband, but my best friend and the love of my life.

After his death, my life spiraled into grief and illness. I lost another son, and my emotional pain became too much. People didn’t understand mental health back then, and eventually, even my surviving son had me declared mentally unstable and committed to a sanitarium for a time. It was humiliating and heartbreaking, but I survived. I spent the rest of my life quietly, reflecting on everything we’d been through.

I passed away on July 16, 1882, but I hope history remembers me not just as Abraham Lincoln’s wife, but as a woman who endured unthinkable loss and still stood firm in the storm. I wasn’t perfect, but I was passionate, loyal, and stronger than many gave me credit for.

If there’s one lesson I want you to take from my story, it’s this: grief and hardship don’t define you—how you rise through them does. Love deeply, stand for what’s right, and never be afraid to show your heart. Thank you for listening.

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