Midnight Mischief: The Science Behind Why Cats Are (Not) Jerks

Breaking news, folks! Cats are officially cleared of being nocturnal jerks by science. An expert claims they're not waking you up at 3 AM just for kicks, which is obviously what a cat would want you to believe. They're innocent, they say. Totally not smug little overlords in fur suits. Apparently, the real reason cats become your personal midnight alarm clock is rooted in biology—something about their hunting instincts and activity cycles. So it's not your feline being passive-aggressively upset that you didn’t fill their bowl with the expensive tuna. Nope, they’re just a predator with a flawless internal clock. Your inconvenience? A happy accident. And if their primal hunting instincts somehow include screaming at your face or knocking over random objects at ungodly hours, that’s just evolution, baby. Who are we to criticize nature’s masterpiece? Cats simply operate on a higher plane of logic that we mere mortals cannot comprehend. But let’s face it: whether it’s science or sheer disdain for your sleep schedule, the result is the same. You’re wide awake, questioning all your life choices while Mr. Whiskers triumphantly parades around like he owns the place. Spoiler alert: he does. You’re just paying the rent. So next time you’re jolted out of a dream by furball theatrics, remember: bit’s not malice—it’s biology. And maybe also a sprinkle of malice, because let’s be honest, cats *are* self-aware enough to enjoy the chaos they cause.

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