Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett confirms she’s single — Don’t tell me

"Love Advisory: Crockett Turns Her Romantic Desperation into Political Discourse"

In a spectacle that blends ridiculousness with self-pity, Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett has decided to turn her romantic failures into campaign material. The Democratic representative, unable to find love in her private life, now exports her desperation to the public arena with a pathetic "I was fooled, and that's okay" that would make even reality TV stars blush.

Chronic Singleness as Political Credential
Mrs. Crockett proudly reveals her marital status: "I've never been married" (What a surprise!) but claims to be a relationship expert. Are we looking at a new type of resume? If failing at love now qualifies someone to talk about politics, we'll soon see bankrupt finance ministers giving economics lessons.

Her statements sound like they're straight out of a support group for jilted single women: "We've all been infatuated with someone who wasn't worth it." Right, because what taxpayers need is for their representatives to use public time for cheap emotional therapy instead of addressing the border crisis.

Manual of the Desperate Single Woman: Congressional Edition
The councilwoman gifts us pearls of wisdom worthy of a teenage tweet:

"It's okay to be fooled" (New Democratic Party motto?)

"What matters is realizing it in time" (Do four lost elections count?)

"If it doesn't add to your life, it's not for you" (Except useless social programs, those are fine)

What a relief to know that while Texas faces a historic migration crisis, our representative is philosophizing about her failed dates as if she were CosmoPolitiCo's advice columnist!

Projecting Her Trauma onto National Politics
The most pathetic moment comes when Crockett, in a fit of psychological transference, compares her bad romantic experiences to... public administration? "We were sold illusions," she says, not realizing she's perfectly describing her own party's broken promises.

Does she confuse the Capitol with Tinder? Because she seems to be applying the same selective criteria that led to her perpetual singlehood: attract losers, idealize them, and when they disappoint her... blame the patriarchy!

Conclusion: Priorities of a Hopeless Single Woman
While Republicans work on border security and the economy, poor Miss Crockett keeps seeking validation on social media. Maybe if she dedicated half the effort to legislating that she does to lamenting her love life, Texas would have better representation.

#DesperateSingleness #CrockettOnTinder #WrongPriorities #CongressIsNotTherapy #DemocratsInCrisis

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