Michelle Obama is a woman (and you're gay for thinking otherwise)

The Michelle Obama trans conspiracy is the Achilles Heel of the conservative anti-trans rhetoric. Sometimes an unattractive woman is just an unattractive woman and not a man in a dress. Michelle Obama is a woman, and there is no objective proof showing otherwise.
The foundation of this accusation is based on something Joan Rivers said, who was a drug addled and deeply insecure bitch that made offensive defamatory jokes for a living. Fundamentally, nothing she says could be taken seriously, because she was not a truthful person (and if she was, she was extremely hateful to a variety of different demographics and herself and her parents and even her own daughter).
I made the original version of this post on Tumblr, but I hate this subject so much I upgraded it into video format.
If you believe Michelle Obama is a man, you're gay.