Death - Preparing for What’s Ahead

Death - Preparing for What’s Ahead

By Pastor Gary Wayne

This morning I want to talk about death and dying, and preparing before I have to.
I know that in this group there are those who are still living with the raw emotion of the loss of a loved one.
I have been around church setting all my life, and I STRONGLY believe that overall the church has been bad at allowing people to grieve.
A common WRONG thinking is: “ok, you have had time to grieve, not get over it.” That is TOTALLY WRONG!
Allow people to be where they are without judging where you think they should be.

Text: Psalms 90:12
Psa 39:4 "LORD, make me to know my end, And what is the measure of my days, That I may know how frail I am.”
Ecc 7:2 “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.” NIV

This scripture in Ecc. says that reflecting on death and mortality, even though it’s hard, can be more beneficial for personal growth and wisdom than simply enjoying celebrations, and living in the moment.
Considering my end of life forces me to consider my own life today as I live each moment, but also to take a serious look at being prepared.
Death is as much a part of life as living and ignoring the topic of death is foolish.
This verse suggests that facing the reality of death can be an incentive for living a more meaningful life.

I want to talk this morning from my own experiences of having my family members die, and my experiences of working with many different families in their own personal situations facing this hard topic of when someone dies.

It is my strong advice for each of us to set quality time aside to visit with our family (especially our spouses) about what you want to happen when you die.

None of us likes talking about death or funerals, but you can make things easier on your family by talking to them before there is a stress to do so.
This can feel like death-obsessed prepping, but I have been in multiple settings where the families have already talked about what to do, and those who didn’t know.
I can be OVERWHELMING, and taking time to deal with this when there is no stress is very thoughtful to your family.

There are three main sections I want to briefly cover, for me to talk to my family about.

1. When I die, what do I want done with my body? Am I an organ doner? Do I want to be cremated? Or have a full burial with a casket? Do I want to be embalmed?
On average, you can expect to pay between $7,000 and $10,000 in funeral expenses depending on what the family desires.
Am I gong to prepare for this, or let my wife and or kids deal with it?

I think this alone is important to plan for.
Its normal and a good idea to call different funeral homes and shop for the best prices. If you can’t handle that, make a list of questions and have a friend call.

Resist the urge to spend money you don’t have to honor their memory.
Example – I spend $15,000 on a hand-carved oak casket that will only be seen for a few moments, then buried – honor your loved one in other ways – before they die.

2. What kind of ceremony do I or my family want?
There are three standard choices.
* A funeral – the body is present. Usually followed by a grave side ceremony.
* A memorial service – the body is already interred (buried).
* A celebration of life sometimes differs from a funeral or a memorial service in that it’s often a more casual and less structured.

3. What do I want for the interment (burial)?
If cremated, do I want to be interred in a plot at the cemetery?
Do I want to be scattered somewhere memorable to me and the family?
Do I want a full burial in a casket, if so where?

----------Random Thoughts----------
Who gets your stuff?
If you don’t have a planned will, the state or federal law has one for you – at your families’ expense.
If your assets are going to be given to a few people, who is going to make that happen and how will they know what to do if you don’t tell them?

Maybe write down your wishes for your ceremony, including music, readings, and any other special requests.
Make sure your family knows where to find your funeral instructions and last wishes.

Make a list of important decisions and have it in one place so it is easy for your family to find.
Your Will and or Trust. List of insurances policies. Titles to vehicles. Bills outstanding. Important documents - Anything that requires paperwork, have in one file and or instructions for your family to follow.
Computer passwords.
Make a list of contact information for family & friends.

If you are the main income, what will your spouse live on?