god against us, god for us, christian absurdism (albert camus)

for some, god's intervention saves them a lot of grief in a tangible obvious way
for many god's silence prevents overwhelming grief at the fact their lives are not their own
in a way, gifting people higher meaning, in service, or gifting people with self direction to determine their own values
unfortunately I seem to be where the coin landed on it's rim and god curses me with service without reward and having to determine my own values while having a bit of a tyrant breathing down my neck