Premium Only Content

Neon Ghosts (Of the FetLife Munch)
[bright trumpet bursts], [syncopated bassline], [shimmering tambourine]
Verse 1
[Soft brass swells under vocals]
We meet where the kinksters brunch, no chains, just lunch,
Laughin’ ‘bout memes, not whips—keep it hush-hush.
You’re sippin’ iced tea, I’m scribblin’ dumb jokes,
But your FetLife handle’s the one thing I choke…
[PRE-CHORUS: HORN STABS RISING]
(AI action: [punchy sax hits], [staccato trumpets])
You said, “I’m into rope,” I said, “Same, but I’m shy,”
Then the check arrived, and you waved goodbye…
Now I’m stuck with your first name, “Jen… maybe Gwen?”
And a napkin doodle of a… is that a hen?
[CHORUS: FULL BRASS EXPLOSION + BGV “OOHs”]
(AI action: [glittering horns crescendo], [soulful backup vocals])
Oh, we’re just coffee cups with no @ signs,
Mysteries in mundanity’s design.
IRL’s a tease, digital’s a ghost—
How do I slide into DMs when I don’t know your post?
Naa-na-na, brass blows my regret…
Should’ve asked your username while we split the check!
[VERSE 2: MUTED TRUMPET + GROOVY DRUMS]
(AI action: [wah-wah guitar], [sultry muted trumpet])
You wore a band tee (Depeche Mode, right?),
*I dropped my fork twice—clumsy meets polite.
We bonded ‘bout cats, not collars or cuffs,
Now I’m searchin’ “Jen who likes cats and stuff…”
[BRIDGE: BRASS BREAKDOWN + KEY CHANGE]
(AI action: [dramatic horn slides], [staccato claps])
Scrolling feeds at 2 AM,
Is that your eyebrow? Or just someone’s twin?
Munch magic fades like a diner’s neon glow…
Next time, I’ll scream, “YOUR @, THOUGH!” (But probably no.)
[OUTRO: BRASS FLOURISH + FADE-OUT]
(AI action: [joyous trumpet riff], [bassline walks down])
Munches are safe, munches are sly,
Real names haunt me like a VPN gone dry.
*But hey—maybe next week, I’ll bring a Sharpie pen…
Write my @ on my palm, and pray you’ll add me then.
-
1:35:02
Redacted News
3 hours agoHIGH ALERT! U.S. AND ISRAEL PREPARING FOR 'LARGE SCALE' WAR, U.S. TANKERS ARRIVE IN QATAR | Redacted
125K140 -
LIVE
Dr Disrespect
7 hours ago🔴LIVE - DR DISRESPECT - 10 WINS ON CONTROLLER - BO7 TOMORROW
1,410 watching -
22:48
Jasmin Laine
3 hours ago“They LIED to People”—Poilievre SLAMS Liberals as Auditor General CONFIRMS Vote-Buying Scandal
12.9K16 -
16:45
World2Briggs
4 hours ago $0.68 earnedTop 10 Dying Cities Everyone Is Leaving in 2026
10.6K8 -
LIVE
Wayne Allyn Root | WAR Zone
7 hours agoWatch LIVE: The War Zone Podcast with Wayne Allyn Root
54 watching -
The Amber May Show
2 hours ago $0.11 earnedHealing for the Ages: Reclaiming Health with Dr. Ardis, Dr. Group, Dr. Ealy & Dr. Schmidt
4.89K2 -
1:46:07
freecastle
6 hours agoTAKE UP YOUR CROSS- CHRIST will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish You
10.9K6 -
1:24:49
vivafrei
4 hours agoLive with Ben Bankas! Government Shut Down! Visa Revocation Unconstitutional! & MORE!
107K40 -
1:28:26
Steven Crowder
9 hours agoThe Left is Violent | Change My Mind
633K1.7K -
StoneMountain64
5 hours agoI played BLACK OPS 7, is "Call of duty BACK"?
22.9K1