phantom libido...an itch that reminds me what society is thinking

it took me awhile to accept this
i smoked many a doobie in my twenties
all these things about me are supposed to be there?
what's the point in raising hell if nothing improves
self-mutilation AND self-flagellation
ego...that part of you that can't accept what you do that separates you from them
i had to let my libido go in order to embrace who i am
i look down n around n nothing is there
why do i need anything to validate me, that's what God is for!
this chord is totally throwing me off
i dunno what's gonna happen in the video, who else on yt can say this?
instinct: die (aka live) alone
i don't desire what i've been told to desire
i'd say sumin so ugly it'd surely make you leave
my fantasy: you beating me over the head w/ a frying pan
no marriage for me, thanks