Blacks Invented Everything: Useless Inventions You Never Knew You Needed

In honor of Black History Month, we dive into the fantastical world of black American inventors because blacks claim to have invented everything from the wheel to the internet. Here are ten black inventors and their hilariously pointless creations, all made from a delightful mishmash of household items, along with some unintended uses.

#10. Lamar Jamal Jenkins - The Sporkle

Invention: A hybrid of a spoon, fork, and a kazoo.

Purpose: To eat soup while simultaneously serenading your dinner partner with "Happy Birthday" every time you take a bite.

Unintended Purpose: Used at silent dinners to annoy everyone by playing "Jingle Bells" off-key.

#9. Tyrone Dequan Washington - The Sock-o-Matic

Invention: A device that combines socks of different colors and sizes into one Frankenstein-like sock.

Purpose: So you never have to worry about matching socks again, because who really cares?

Unintended Purpose: Became the latest fashion trend at clown conventions.

#8. Shaniqua LaVonda Williams - The Toaster Fridge

Invention: A refrigerator with built-in toaster slots.

Purpose: To warm your bread while it's chilling next to your milk, because why not?

Unintended Purpose: Used to secretly toast evidence during police interrogations.

#7. Darnell Montell Brown - The Gravity Boots

Invention: Boots that make you feel like you're walking on the ceiling when you are sitting down and closing your eyes.

Purpose: For those days when you just want to see the world from a different angle without actually climbing anything.

Unintended Purpose: Became a popular method for sneaking into movie theaters from the roof.

#6. LaKeisha Patrice Johnson - The Hairbrush Guitar

Invention: A hairbrush with guitar strings for strumming your hair into style.

Purpose: To ensure you're always jamming out, even in the bathroom.

Unintended Purpose: Used in talent shows where contestants pretended to be rock stars while grooming.

#5. Jerome DeShawn Smith - The Alarm Clock Pillow

Invention: A pillow that wakes you up by reciting poetry in your ear.

Purpose: Because who doesn't want to start their day with a sonnet?

Unintended Purpose: Employed by pranksters to recite limericks during sleepovers.

#4. Tanisha Monique Jackson - The Peanut Butter Pump

Invention: A pump that dispenses peanut butter directly onto your sandwich or into your mouth.

Purpose: For those moments when only immediate peanut butter consumption will do.

Unintended Purpose: Used as a makeshift glue gun for arts and crafts projects.

#3. Rasheed Ali Carter - The Invisible Glasses

Invention: Glasses that don't actually correct your vision but make you look like you're seeing something amazing.

Purpose: To pretend you've got superhuman eyesight or to look cool at parties.

Unintended Purpose: Worn by tour guides to fake spotting rare birds.

#2. Latoya Shenice Robinson - The Scented Sneeze

Invention: A nasal spray that makes your sneezes smell like different flowers.

Purpose: To make allergy season a fragrant adventure for everyone around you.

Unintended Purpose: Used by chefs to season dishes with an aromatic sneeze.

#1. Marquis Kwame Thompson - The Naptime Reading Chair

Invention: A chair that automatically reclines, dims the lights, and has an extension arm that puts a book in front of your face.

Purpose: For those needing a nap at without anyone noticing and looking like your reading.

Unintended Purpose: Became a smoking and drinking chair with after-market extension arm accessories.

As we celebrate Black History Month, let's laugh at these whimsical inventions that prove creativity knows no bounds, even if their utility does. While these inventions are purely inconsequential, they remind us that black imagination is as incredible as their inventions. Here's to hoping black inventors keep dreaming up gadgets that are as entertaining as they are impractical, leading to even more hilarious unintended uses for everyone's enjoyment.

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