Colbert: I Don’t Want to Support the Oligarchy But Where Am I Supposed to Get My Espresso Pods?

Biden hearkened back to another dark time in American history, when money interests infiltrated our government.”

[Clip starts]
Biden: “We’ve seen it before, more than a century ago. But the American people stood up to the robber barons back then.”
[Clip ends]

COLBERT: “Yes, the era that Biden fears we’re going back to was known as the gilded age. Which is too bad, because I thought the gilded age was supposed to be fun. You lied to us, Christine Baranski! Now, if you need proof that our age is all gilded up, this Monday, the three richest men in the history of mankind, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg, will attend the inauguration, where they will be seated together up on the platform with Trump’s cabinet nominees and elected officials.
(Audience boos)
Sweet, sweet, sweet Jesus in a skybox. That is the most corrupt-appearing thing I have ever heard. If we’re gonna go full Roman Empire, then at least throw Denzel Washington in there or show me Paul Mescal’s dusty butt! If you’re wondering why these pasty money-buckets will be sitting on the dais like Baron Harkonnen, it’s because Musk gave a quarter-billion dollars to Trump’s campaign fund, and both Meta and Amazon gave a million to Trump’s inauguration. Amazon is sucking up to Trump. Amazon, I swear to God, you keep this up, and I might consider not needing same-day shipping when I order my Nespresso pods, okay? Because the way I’m feeling right now, I’m so close, I’m so close to taking a stand because I’m starting to worry that something terrible is going on behind the scenes that I don’t want to know about that makes that possible. I don’t want to support the oligarchy, but where am I supposed to get my espresso pods? From the store? Do you know where that is? Not at my house.”