Kimmel: ‘Good News’ About Biden’s Lowest Approval Rating Is ‘He Won’t Remember Any of It’

KIMMEL: “President Biden last night delivered his farewell address to the nation. He did it live from the Oval Office. The speech was 18 minutes along — which is also the amount of time it takes the president to pee.
(Laughter)
It was an interesting speech. It was more like a stern talking-to than a speech. Biden warned us about threats to democracy, including the decline of American journalism and the dangerous seeds of oligarchy, where too much power and influence is in the hands of a wealthy few. Basically, his message was, ‘I’m getting the hell out of here, and you probably should too.’
(Laughter)
He said, ‘Americans are being buried under an avalanche of misinformation and disinformation.’ And then I thought he was about to start rapping and I got nervous.
(Laughter)
But watching this address, it was hard for me to think about anything other than the fact that in four days Donald Trump will be sleep-farting behind that very same desk —
(Audience reacts)
>> With a drawer full of dipping sauces at the ready. Not only was it President Biden’s final speech, it was also a chance for the gang at ‘Fox & Friends’ to take a good, hard look at what matters most to this country.”

[Clip starts]
DOOCY: “If you look carefully, and the New York Post points this out, it might actually be behind our logo, Joe Biden is sitting on a pillow. We don’t know if it’s just — it was a rough four years or whatever. But apparently, he has taken now to sitting on a pillow.”
[Clip ends]

KIMMEL: “And it’s not even a Mypillow, can you imagine?
(Laughter)
The people criticizing us for how we handled the fires don’t even know not to block the pillow with their logo.
(Laughter)
He’s sitting on a pillow! What are they gonna do when he’s back home in Delaware? Who are they gonna — who are they going to attack now? I guess it’s back to the gay M&Ms, I don’t know.
(Laughter)
Joe Biden leaves office with the lowest approval rating of his presidency, 36%. The good news is, he won’t remember any of it.
(Laughter)
And also, the well-wishes have already started pouring in.”

[Clip starts]
FLAVOR FLAV: “You are inspiration to everybody in the nation.”
(...)
SNOOKI: “You are amazing, and I want you to spiral and get drunk and enjoy yourself, because you are amazing. Mwah, love you.”
(...)
SIMPSON: “I want to congratulate Joe. You got my vote, I got to tell you that.”
(...)
FELDMAN: “Keep alive, keep doing what you want to do, following your dreams, going for it, being the greatest you can possibly be.”
(...)
HASSELHOFF: “Congratulations. The theme of ‘Knight Rider’ is one man can make a difference, and you are that difference.”
[Clip ends]

(Applause)
KIMMEL: “That was the theme of ‘Knight Rider?’ Wait a minute. I thought ‘Knight Rider’ was about a Trans Am that could talk.
(Laughter)
We learn something every day.”