Colbert: We Must Demand Dems to Change Liberal Policies ‘Like Wind’... ‘Time to End the Bisexual Wind’

COLBERT: “Yeah. That’s the spirit. If you want to give but you don’t know where, you can scan this QR code right here be a list of charities that are on the ground addressing immediate needs of the people who have been affected by this tragedy. And it’s not just Americans who are pitching in, because Canada and Mexico are sending teams to help California fight the fires. Gracias, Mexico! Gracias. And to Canada... Gracias, eh? I don’t speak Canadian but I’m very grateful. I’m very grateful. Hey, you know who’s not helping? Congressional Republicans, because they want strings attached to California’s fire aid.
(Audience boos)
That is an awful, awful way to respond to any emergency. ‘911, what’s in it for me?’
(Laughter)
Regardless of the fact that the most recent annual report shows that California put in $83 billion more into the federal treasury than it got back, you are hearing stuff like this from Senator John Barrasso of Wyoming, a state whose entire population is smaller than the morning rush crowd at The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on La Cienega.

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BARRASSO: “There can’t be a blank check on this, however, because people want to make sure that as rebuilding occurs, as things go on in California, they have to be resilient so that these sorts of things can’t happen again. And the policies of the liberal administration out there, I believe have made these fires worse.”
[Clip ends]

COLBERT: “Yes, we must demand changes to clearly liberal policies like wind. First it’s blowing one way, then it’s blowing the other. It’s time to end the bisexual breeze!
(Laughter)
That’s what’s starting the fires. That’s what — that’s what — plus, if liberal policies don’t start fires, then why did the forestry service make this PSA?”

[Clip starts]
SMOKEY BEAR: “Only you can prevent universal pre-K!”
[Clip ends]

(Laughter)