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Let’s Fill Our House With Love, Not Tension
My son just farted into a Gatorade bottle and saved it till the next day then asked if I could smell it.Very weird right? I didn’t say “Nathan you are weird” That would cause him to think of himself that way and cause him to think I think of him that way. I just laughed and said “Don’t put that near me”
There’s nothing worse than seeing hurt in your child's face after you lose control and hurt their feelings.
At this age they are experimenting with everything. They might do the weirdest thing ever, just let them be weird. They might say something that hurts your feelings, correct the behavior, but don’t lose control and crush them.
When you do this you do far more than address the current situation, you cast judgment on them as a person. Instead of correcting today's infraction, you tell them how you feel about them as a person, which in our emotional state is exaggerated and many times hurtful.
Except to our kids this doesn't last a moment, it lives in their heads and forms their inner voice.
A child’s inner voice lives with them into adulthood. They become confident adults who believe in themself, or scared, anxious adults who run from fear.
Think about your own inner voice then think about the words of your parents.
Many of the phrases we say to our kids in emotional states come from the same emotional states we experienced as a kid. You might find yourself saying “I sound just like my dad!”
That could be a good or bad thing.
We get to choose what traits we want to carry into our own parenting.
But we have to be aware of it.
Let’s guide with warmth not judgement.
Let’s fill our house with love, not tension.
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