12 Rules for Living - Jordan Peterson 12 Rules for Life Parody (12 Days of Christmas)

A song about Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life. (Full rules below lyrics.)

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Lyrics
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Oh, the first rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Stand up straight and lobsterly!

Oh, the second rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Take all your drugs,
And stand up straight and lobsterly!

Oh, the third rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Make good friends,
Take all your drugs,
And stand up straight and lobsterly!

Oh, the fourth rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Use past you as par,
Make good friends,
Take all your drugs,
And stand up straight and lobsterly!

Oh, the fifth rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Raise kids—not fiends!
Use past you as par,
Make good friends,
Take all your drugs,
And stand up straight and lobsterly!

Oh, the sixth rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Order your house first,
Raise kids—not fiends!
Use past you as par,
Make good friends,
Take all your drugs,
And stand up straight and lobsterly!

Oh, the seventh rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Sacrifice for meaning,
Order your house first,
Raise kids—not fiends!
Use past you as par,
Make good friends,
Take all your drugs,
And stand up straight and lobsterly!

Oh, the eighth rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Speak truth, not deceit,
Sacrifice for meaning,
Order your house first,
Raise kids—not fiends!
Use past you as par,
Make good friends,
Take all your drugs,
And stand up straight and lobsterly!

Oh, the ninth rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Try list’ning humbly,
Speak truth not deceit,
Sacrifice for meaning,
Order your house first,
Raise kids—not fiends!
Use past you as par,
Make good friends,
Take all your drugs,
And stand up straight and lobsterly!

Oh, the tenth rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Use words precisely,
Try list’ning humbly,
Speak truth not deceit,
Sacrifice for meaning,
Order your house first,
Raise kids—not fiends!
Use past you as par,
Make good friends,
Take all your drugs,
And stand up straight and lobsterly!

Oh, the eleventh rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Leave children half-piping,
Use words precisely,
Try list’ning humbly,
Speak truth not deceit,
Sacrifice for meaning,
Order your house first,
Raise kids—not fiends!
Use past you as par,
Make good friends,
Take all your drugs,
And stand up straight and lobsterly!

Oh, the twelfth rule for living
prescribed by JBP:
Pet all the kitties,
Leave children half-piping,
Use words precisely,
Try list’ning humbly,
Speak truth not deceit,
Sacrifice for meaning,
Order your house first,
Raise kids—not fiends!
Use past you as par,
Make good friends,
Take all your drugs,
And stand up straight and lobsterly!

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The OG 12 Rules
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1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back.
2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.
3. Make friends with people who want the best for you.
4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.
5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.
6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.
7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient).
8. Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie.
9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't.
10. Be precise in your speech.
11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding.
12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.