My Top 20 albums from 1978 No 9

Parallel Lines Blondie
Released: 23 September 1978
Tracklist
Hanging On The Telephone 2:17
One Way Or Another 3:31
Picture This 2:53
Fade Away And Radiate 3:57
Pretty Baby 3:16
I Know But I Don't Know 3:53
11:59 3:19
Will Anything Happen 2:55
Sunday Girl 3:01
Heart Of Glass 3:54
I'm Gonna Love You Too 2:03
Just Go Away 3:21
Reviewby Daryl Easlea
23 April 2007
Overall Album Score: 9.5 out of 10

'Ay, cutie! How's it hanging? Good, good. That's some nice blonde hair you got there, sweet-stuff. May I call you Blondie? No? ... Oh. I see. Your hair is really brown, then. That's okay. My hair's really brown, too. ... No. Thanks! Heh heh! I have my hair dyed blue every third day at the salon. ... Oh thank you, that's what everybody tells me, too. In fact, when I realized that I had a blue-haired complexion, I decided to give in and go for the blue haired treatment ... What? Oh you're breasts aren't real either. That's fine. Mine aren't real either. ... What? Oh! I do it just so I can wear a dress.

On with the review! (I can be such an idiot sometimes. You don't even have to tell me!)

Blondie's third album was their major commercial breakthrough. And why not? It has two ultimate, utterly CLASSIC CLASSICS that are so divine that they made even Peter Gabriel puke when he first listened to them. The classics I'm talking about are, of course, "The Nah Nah Hey Hey Song" and "I Wish I Was an Oscar Meyer Wiener Television Jingle." But other than those unforgettable classics, this album also contains two OTHER songs that are super splendously guberspectacularly ultragrammiffical ... so much so, in fact, that I revert to my 7th grade self when I used to make up words on my Language Arts book reports so my teacher might possibly think that I actually read Treasure Island.

The two songs I'm really talking about are none other than "Heart of Glass" and "One Way or Another." These songs are so splendid that I don't reckon that I'll ever get sick of listening to them. Blondie's best moments shine through these songs, indeedy.

Yes ... this is that album with that "Heart of Glass" thing on it. But let me assure you that there is nothing else on this album that even remotely resembles disco. For a disco song, though, "Heart of Glass," is great! It makes me think: "Saturday Night Fever, what?"

Even if you look at this album without those two excellent tracks in it, you'll still notice an almost massive improvement in this band! Not only are the songs more polished and exhibit better songwriting, these ones really gleam in the Sun. The last two albums were rather dull. But this one just SHINES in nearly every way possible. Although there are still a few moments in this album that have me go: ehhhhhhhh! But the rest of the songs have me going: heheeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE!

Is this the greatest pop album of the 70's? Perhaps. It's one of the greatest pop albums of the 70's, surely. My gerbils, who are chewing up a toilet paper role at the moment, think this album is rad, too. We all like it! Man and beast! This album knows no bounds!!!!!

(Okay. Methinks I had better get to the album summary before something explodes.)

Overall Album Score: 9.5 stars out of 10 (This album not only takes the cake, but it bakes it! ... Wow. I'll have to stay up all night wondering how THAT makes sense. This is surely one of the greatest pop albums of the 1970's.)

Average Song Score: 9.4 (What an excellent collection of tunes! Even though most of the songs manage to be thoroughly excellent, there was still room for two ABSOLUTELY DIVINE tracks on here! Wonderful!)

Album Tilt: 9.5 (This is a SUUUUUUUPER album! That's all that really needs to be said!)

Artist Tilt: 9.5 (Artistically significant? Well ... yes and no. Most of these songs manage to have SOMETHING that makes them somewhat bizarre, but this is, after all, a pop album. But what a pop album it is!)

Track Reviews

Hanging on the Telephone 9/10

This one is semi-retroey. Although, this time, it only seems to hint at an old 60's song. On previous albums, many Blondie songs were rooted in 60's pop. This one is definitely a pure Blondie-esque pop song! (Yeah! It's a song that fully utilizes their new general sound!) The tune, while not a wonderful ride as far as hooks go, is nice. The attitude and the tone of the song make it fun.

One Way or Another 10plus/10

This is actually one of the few rock songs I noticed (and was impressed by) during those days before I was listening to rock. (I remember specifically seeing it on an old episode of The Muppet Show ... I remember seeing Deborah Harry rocking out with all this youthful attitude with Kermit the Frog. It was an experience I'll never likely forget!) Anyway, this is a most menacing song (that is chock-full of attitude) that also has a most-catchy tune. And it's not a monotonous song, either. (If a lesser band would have just stumbled upon this, they probably would have just simply played it and not do anything particularly innovative with it.) But not Blondie! When the song gets toward its conclusion, there are all sorts of fade-ins and interesting little noises going on. It's an excellent number!

Picture This 10/10

Yikes! This song is utterly immaculate! It's a much more pleasant song than "One Way or Another." It sounds more hopeful and optimistic. I enjoy it! It also has a tune not to be reckoned with! (And OH! You've simply got to hear that heavenly instrumental part in the middle of this!) Super!

Fade Away and Radiate 8.5/10

This song is much more slow and 'atmospheric.' It has some interesting little siren noises going on. The overall tune isn't the greatest thing I've ever heard, yet almost random moments of it are really special. This song might have not been Blondie's greatest idea, but it managed to fill-in exceptionally well. (Whoah... did I just say 'it filled in exceptionally well?')

Pretty Baby 8.5/10

This is certainly an enjoyable song. (It's certainly more easily enjoyable than "Fade Away"), but there is nothing extraordinarily interesting about this track that made most of these other songs so utterly splendid. But that doesn't mean this song isn't utterly splendid. And that doesn't mean this song isn't interesting, either. It just doesn't do as much for me as many of these other tracks. That's all. Folks.

I Know But I Don't Know 9.5/10

This one a hard rock song that manages to work really well! It has a riff that Kiss would droll over with their mouths (and tongue) hanging out. It also has attitude reeking in and throughout it! What good instrument playing, too! It's just very nice! NICE! That's all I really have to say. LONG LIVE HARD ROCK!

11:59 9/10

It's a very good fast pop song. It has a good melody and it is very fun to listen to! Other than the fact that I really enjoy it, though, there's nothing that makes it stick out too far. That's not really a criticism, though.

Will Anything Happen 8/10

Mmmmmmmmmm... An 8/10 still means it's a very good song. But, overall, this harder rock song is one of the weakest tracks on this otherwise exceptional album.

Sunday Girl 10/10

This is a very sweet pop song that has a melody that just screams: "HEY! I'VE GOT SOME GREAT HOOKS HERE!" This is also rather firm in its early-60's sunshine pop foundation. But it's very very pleasant and just grabs for my attention. The instrument playing is even great here. (I gotta dig the way they did that bass line!) Perfection!

Heart of Glass 10plus/10

I don't give out 10pluses as if it were candy at Halloween. If an album has a song special enough to warrant a 10plus ... even if it might have another song that has another worthy song, I usually refrain from specifying it as such. But the other 10plus song on this album is SO different from this! This song is that famous disco number that ABSOLUTELY BEATS NEARLY EVERY OTHER DISCO SONG IN EXISTENCE! Not that such a feat was exceptionally difficult to achieve. Disco sucks! This song is not only catchy and infectious but it sounds even intelligent, if you can believe that! But it does deserve distinction for that. If disco ever had a reason to exist, this is one of the better ones. The instruments, of course, are both immaculate and innovative. And I just enjoy listening to the sucker. I might even dance to it one of these days. It doesn't even sound particularly dated, which is probably very hard to believe ... but it's true! The song's a timeless masterpiece!

I'm Gonna Love You, Too 8.5/10

The melody on this one sounds almost like it was composed for Sesame Street. But don't let that turn you off the song! I still enjoy it because it's all in good, pure fun, isn't it?

Just Go Away 9/10

The last song of the album! (Already?!?!?!) This is another fun song whose manic choruses of "Go Away" really make it for me! (I mean ... it sounds like members of an insane asylum have joined together and are singing it to their head nurse who's about to give Jack Nicholson a lobotomy!) I also really enjoy the instrumental passage on here. The tune isn't the hookiest thing on Earth, but these fun little oddities really make up for it.

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Bonus Tracks:

Well ... There's another version of "Heart of Glass" on here, which is different from the other other version of "Heart of Glass" that appeared on the bonus tracks on Plastic Letters. Ehh... why not? I like listening to the alternate version! It's not as good, of course, as the version that we are all familiar with. The second bonus track is a live cover of the famous T. Rex song "Bang a Gong (Get it On)." I really like that T. Rex song, but I'm not too thrilled about this live version of it (sorry)! No matter how much I enjoy Deborah Harry's vocals, it just isn't the same without Marc Bolan! (This was also a year after Bolan's tragic death, so it might have been meant as a tribute.) The third bonus track is a live version of "I Know But I Don't Know." I still like the studio version better, but this is a pretty good live version of it. Lastly, there's a live version of "Hanging By the Telephone." It wasn't a song that I was too thrilled with in the beginning, but I'm willing to call the live version a worthy equal.

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