APNEA

New music, new album. Experimental album. All production, beats, vocals, lyrics, mixing and mastering done independently by me.
More to come, both experimental and more developed. Thank you.

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Lyrics:

I’ve exhausted everyone method, on edge I need a clinic
My brains addicted to fear, so I’m said to be a cynic
In bed cuz I can’t lift it, my head is a ballistic
On a path to crash and I try but I can’t shift it
Set all these goals, never satisfied when I hit it
On the road I drive, I do it but I ain’t driven
A deer in life’s vision, I’m here but I ain’t living
I’ve tried a necktie, but unfortunately I didn’t fit it

Any new lease I get doesn’t last,
I end up low on cash before long rent raises at a pace that I can’t match
I hope by the date I can pass, but I get no breaks from my past, I brace for the crash

You can’t understand cuz your body ain’t the same as me
Still I keep standards while your manners I wait to see
Depraved motherfuckers act on the smallest thing they feel
I make my will steel, when I fuck up my mind has no repeal

Still I take what they’re givin’ me, wait patiently
Everyday I’m reminded of what my mind takes from me
Confidence and bliss
Calmness and fulfillment
Consistence in enjoying shit
Trust not to be exploited

I never feel ataraxia apart from my addictions
No idea how I ever get a taste and stop licking, say grace for what? Livin’?
Thanks God for my kitchen where all I got left is some frostbitten chicken

Feels good to love, feels good to do drugs
Feels good to eat, feels good to get hugs
Feels good to waste time Feels good to get mine
Feels good Feels good
Feels good to love, feels good to do drugs
Feels good to eat, feels good to get hugs
Feels good to waste time Feels good to get mine
Feels good It feels good

I thought I was making progress,
I thought I knew the patterns,
I thought I was getting better,
I thought I knew the patterns,
Some days I’m well rested,
Most days wrong side of the mattress

Repetitive, adrenaline, let it end, sedatives,
Nonstop, on edge, suspense, bare bottles and cents spent
My sense spent, lets try a different direction, my best bet
Exalted meds for erections, hours i get head, hours i get in my head

Fittin' to have a hemorrhage, just a moment let me settle in,
On and ongoing pestering, all to my detriment
Like to try something else, somehow you don’t second it
Not human, a lab rat, take what they tell me to start testing it
My heart’s restless, my brains loud, anger to cope
Become anti-social and lonely and lose hope
Feels good to love, but with urges there’s a price you’re paying
Obsess over one thing and get further isolated

#music #rap #hip hop