Breakup

**Girl:** Hey, we need to talk.

**Boyfriend:** Uh-oh, here we go. You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?

**Girl:** ...Actually, yeah. I think it’s time.

**Boyfriend:** Wow. I’ll just cancel those imaginary matching hoodies, then.

**Girl:** This is serious! We just want different things.

**Boyfriend:** Right—you want freedom, I want someone who sends me memes at 2 AM. Total dealbreaker.

**Girl:** Ugh, I can’t with you.

**Boyfriend:** Fine, go. But take all this emotional baggage you left here.

**Girl:** You know what? Never mind. I’m staying.

**Boyfriend:** Ah, crisis averted. So, dinner at 7?