2 SAMUAL 18 A Father’s Struggle: King David, Absalom, and the Boundaries of Torah

David’s actions toward Absalom certainly illustrate a complex struggle between following Torah law and his own emotional inclinations as a father. Under Torah, there is indeed a commandment regarding the treatment of a rebellious son:

In Deuteronomy 21:18-21, Torah law states that a persistently rebellious son who defies his parents and refuses correction should be brought before the elders and, if found guilty, put to death to "purge the evil" from among the people. The law’s intent is severe—a strong deterrent, to reinforce respect for parental authority and maintain order within the community.

In David’s case, his love and attachment to Absalom may have clouded his judgment or led him to hope for reconciliation despite Absalom’s clear rebellion, which included acts like conspiring against his father and usurping the throne. David, a devout lover of Torah and Yahuah, might have been inclined to assume that Absalom could be redeemed or experience a change of heart. In a way, David’s refusal to strictly apply this commandment demonstrates his own desire for grace and mercy—a tendency to believe that Absalom could feel and act as David himself would under similar circumstances.

Some might interpret David’s mercy as a kind of self-deception or "gaslighting"—overlooking Torah mandates due to his emotional attachment and perhaps projecting his own love for Yahuah onto Absalom. He likely couldn’t accept that Absalom might not share the same respect for Torah or his father.
David’s choice not to execute justice according to Torah law ultimately led to tragedy, as Absalom’s unchecked rebellion brought further suffering and division to David’s family and kingdom. This decision reflects David's human frailty, showing how personal emotions can sometimes lead even the most faithful to struggle with the demands of Torah.