"In That Moment" - Lyric Video

When all else is quiet I sometimes sit here alone
Recalling the first time I heard your name through my phone
Big Easy weekend, you were coming along
And I asked no questions, that’s where I first went wrong

You walked with such swagger as though you were above it all
As we strolled down Bourbon Street past the fleur-de-lis-decked walls
And somehow I knew that I would soon call you “family”
‘Cause something in your beautiful pain felt like home to me

And in that moment I thought you’d be the one to see it through
To lead them into battle once my words rallied the troops
But I became a child lost in a biblical fantasy
And despite what they say I’m no good at interpreting dreams

When I learned my nine-to-five was sending me your way
I looked you up not knowing the price I’d one day pay
And though your blinding darkness made everyone ill at ease
I was a moth drawn to the flame of your frequency

And they all said your envy was as green as your eyes
But trusting a liar is easy when they believe their own lies

So in that moment I chose to keep looking the other way
And to ignore the sick, sadistic games you loved to play
And I assured everyone you’d never do me harm
So despite what they say I’m no good at sounding the alarm

No words could encapsulate how foolish I felt
When I realized I should have listened to everyone else
Like my daughter whose intuition is wise beyond its years
And who revived my wife after you drowned her in your tears

But the curtains finally opened and the mask fell from your face
When I saw that text you never thought would see the light of day

And in that moment I knew I no longer had a choice
And it kills me every time my son asks to hear your voice
But I will still lose sleep while you go on your merry way
‘Cause despite what they say I’m no good at accepting Judgment Day

And now it’s done, so tell me was this your plan all along
To pretend to bond with me over the pain that spawned as my songs?
As you took the crystal knife I gave you to ward off demon attacks
And drove it thought my heart after you stabbed me in the back

What we spent nine months building, in just a second you took from me
In the hopes your misery would finally find some company
And I couldn’t fix you no matter how hard I tried
‘Cause with each attempt to save you another part of me died

Now all I can do is bite my lip to stop the scream
And to wake from the nightmare that became my reality
‘Cause among these revelations there’s the greatest one of all
All demons dress as angels ‘til they can’t disguise their fall

Time and time again they warned that you would let me down
That in your victim narrative I’d be the villain of your town
Still I opened my heart and threw all caution to the wind
Now I’m not sure I’ll ever let anyone in like that again

But for the first time I learned how to love selflessly
Without a single guarantee of reciprocity

So in this moment I’m grateful for my newfound empathy
One more step as I ascend on my karmic journey
And I still have hope somehow you’ll escape those shades of grey
‘Cause despite what I say I have faith you can still find your way

And one day you can bet
I’ll somehow find a way to forgive and forget
Just not in this moment