Premium Only Content

Colonel Douglas McGregor Military Update
Stephen Colbert Hanging at GITMO
https://realrawnews.com/2024/09/jag-hangs-stephen-colbert/
On July 29, 2024, Stephen Colbert asked Rear Admiral David T. Wilson why JAG was about to hang him without first convicting him at a military tribunal, as he lay in the fetal position atop a steel slab with a noose ominously looming above his head.
A minute earlier, he had been standing upright, cussing the admiral and spitting on the hangman and a Navy chaplain who peered fixedly into Colbertβs eyes, as though he spied unadulterated evil lurking behind them, an intangible malice reminiscent of the wickedness another chaplain had seen in Gavin Newsom moments before his death.
If an entity or different personality had inhabited Colbertβs body and mind, it bonded and clung to him at the start of his tribunal and did not enfranchise him until the last moments.
JAG staff, however, believed that Colbert was sane, irrational, and unglued, but also unperturbed by inhabiting spirits or multiple personalities.
In his final days, Colbert refused sustenance, drank little water, clawed at walls with his fingernails, and hissed at everyone who approached his cell, telling guards, βStephenβs not coming back.β
Admiral Wilson barely noticed Colbertβs βtheatrical histrionics,β a GITMO source told Real Raw News.
As the Deep Stateβs theatrics have risen, so too has JAGβs resolve to abjure the appearance of sorcery and lunacy.
When Colbert requested fresh King Crab be flown in from Anchorage as the main course of his final mealβhe said the Camp Blaz menu was unpalatableβAdmiral Wilson told him to die hungry, for he hadnβt eaten in 72 hours anyway.
βFuck it, Stephen really doesnβt shellfish,β he replied.
On the morning of his execution, it took three guards to restrain and handcuff him for his short ride to the gallows, where the admiral and two Marine Corps officers had convened to direct the execution. The only other attendees were the hangman, Colbertβs guards, a physician, and a lanky Navy chaplain, on whom Colbert spat a wad of phlegm.
βStephen doesnβt need your services,β Colbert told him.
He was led to the platform at gunpoint.
βPrecedence dictates we allow you a final statement,β Adm. Wilson said.
Colbert sneered. βSo, youβre going to kill Stephen, huh? I told you five times he ainβt hereββ
The hangman began lowering the noose.
ββBut you know what? I donβt think he wants to miss this. I donβt think he wants to miss the show,β Colbert said.
Colbertβs body suddenly stiffened and froze in place. He stood as if paralyzed for a moment, then collapsed and curled into a ball. His eyes opened wide with fear, and he murmured, βWhatβ¦ whatβs going on? Where am I?β
The gravity of his predicament must have hit him like a sudden cramp. βIβm getting hanged? What about my day in court? This isnβt fair.β
βEnough of this horse shit,β Adm. Wilson shouted. βGet him to his feet and the rope around his neck.β
βYou donβt have to do this,β Stephen screamed as the hangman yanked his body erect.
βMr. Colbert, itβs a good thing you were a talk show host and not a method actor, because youβre terrible at it,β Adm. Wilson said.
The hangman covered Colbertβs head with a black sack and placed the noose around his neck.
The door under Colbertβs feet swung open, and he fell, yo-yo-ing a bit before the hangman lowered his corpse to the ground.
The physician found no pulse and pronounced him dead.
Colbertβs lifeless form was zipped into a plastic bag and driven off, to be placed on ice.
-
LIVE
SynthTrax & DJ Cheezus Livestreams
1 day agoFriday Night Synthwave 80s 90s Electronica and more DJ MIX Livestream Michael Jackson / AI Art Compilation Edition
58 watching -
3:56:17
Nerdrotic
5 hours ago $5.59 earnedLet's TACO-bout Take Us North, Hollywood COPE! Cracker Barrel CRACKED! | Friday Night Tights 369
29.1K1 -
1:49
Gaming on Rumble
6 hours agoWhat is the Rumble Creator Program!?!? (Active Premium Creators) | Lvl UP
232 -
LIVE
RiftTV
3 hours agoHow Blue Light is Turning You Gay | The Rift | Guest: Jack Kruse
512 watching -
LIVE
Eternal_Spartan
10 hours agoπ’ Eternal Spartan Plays Final Fantasy 7 Remake Intergrade | USMC Vet | Join the Best Chat on Rumble
38 watching -
LIVE
MissesMaam
39 minutes ago*Spicy Sips* Friend Friday with Mally_Mouse and Friends!!! πβ¨
72 watching -
LIVE
Tundra Tactical
2 hours agoCrits & Giggles Diablo IV On A Friday Night!
70 watching -
LIVE
JdaDelete
19 hours ago $0.01 earnedMetal Gear Solid Ξ: Snake Eater | Part 1 - Pretty Good?
28 watching -
LIVE
Biscotti-B23
4 hours agoπ΄ LIVE $5000 SINGLE ELIM TOURNAMENT π DEMON SLAYER HINOKAMI CHRONICLES 2
14 watching -
LIVE
SavageJayGatsby
20 hours agoFriend Friday | MicroWorks | $300 Weekly Goal for Spicy Bite Saturday | 250 Follower Goal!
41 watching