The Shift: Ambition to Meaning - Wayne Dyer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0H42vAMJwB0
thank you thank you thank you [Music] [Music] thoroughly unprepared we take the step into the afternoon of Life worse still we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hither to but we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life's morning for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true at evening will have become a lie [Music] got him looking on hey hey oh hey can I get some uh cream sure sorry let see there thanks okay we're all packed I got the snacks in prescription boed the job car payment callon papers hey Jack Jack Jack I need you to turn off the video game and come downstairs and have breakfast we're going to leave in a little bit let me let me just finish this level okay fine but then we're unplugged all weekend got it I don't even know what that means I'm F it's a very sad commentary on our life you sweetie time to get up sweetheart is it tomorrow it is tomorrow it is and we're going to go on vacation and we're going to have so much fun but we got to miss the traffic so let's get going got to get up monkey okay off you go you're overreacting Larry I don't know what they can do they can do a lot of damage to your image Chad now listen you have a brand to protect more development can't afford lawsuits from environmental groups this just isn't the right climate for that kind of stuff what are you suggesting I suggest you decide on some sort of compromise or we'll be tied up in court and you won't be able to start this project at all no why didn't this come when we did the impact report I mean for God's sake we're talking about a tree no it's more than a tree Chad your pre-sales are already dropping and now you're giving off the appearance of being insensitive I am insensitive it's tree you're pay me a lot of money for advice you're not we talk about this later you're charging me by the minute I'm hanging up now don't what was that about 8% done with the subdivision why don't you just not build near the tree then I lose money and you don't get your bonus not reconfiguring an entire section of it because of a tree never mind then have you made a decision about the board meeting this weekend in montere wait what is this about the House of Hope and promise next time someone asks me to be on one of these boards Shoot Me Hugh Johnson is on it remember I went to Great Links to get them to ask you to be on it yeah yeah yeah if Hugh Johnson's on the board I better be on the board in case you've forgotten the House of Hope rehabilitates homeless families I have put all of the information in this file for you you can catch up on their mission from the car on the way there I know what their mission is it's to give handouts to people who can't handle things themselves you know what I never got a hand out and I managed okay I will call your publicist and get them to say something about your philanthropic work hey actually that's a good idea that'll deflect from the whole tree issue I'm always thinking [Music] and I need to find where the director's Cottage is so hello got to get a new van yeah what happened well it's kind of hard to hear you the the reception shoty up here what do you mean they're reconsidering you're kidding right why you're my agent too violent what what does that even mean you I don't make slasher films I make art you got to convince him of that do you got do they even know the talent we have on this I you got to find a way to to to get them look he shook my hand he looked me right in the eye and he said he said this is a go project I want to do your film yes because if the money doesn't come through off the scramble to get another investor I thought this was a short thing excuse me coming through you want to make me happy get the money from my film that would make me happy I got to go I'm on the Wayne diet thing bye wow damn is there anything we could do you got about 5 million if I did would I'd be here then I don't think you can help me cheer up David it's a quick job it's quick it's quick and fun it's 6:30 in the morning Sarah it's not going to be fun it's just a job nothing R2 we'll get them their footage and then we're out of here Wayne good morning David how are you I'm great I hope this isn't too early for you oh no I've been up for hours good good this is Rob our cameraman we're very lucky to have him nice to meet you Ron does sound Hey Ron nice to meet you my and this is uh Sarah my production coordinator she's very resourceful you need anything just ask her got it so if you're amable I thought we'd head down to the social whole area and then set up down there let's do it I'm ready I've been ready for hours yeah oh let's do grab your cape let's go super after you do all right all right how'd you sleep I slept great oh is there anything excited about this uh they is there any expectation I should know about I have no expectations I'm totally in your hands whatever you want to do I'm I feel sorry for you Dr D sorry you said that I'm just going to block a little bit there you got a little shine okay you can't go wrong at this place isn't it beautiful it is gorgeous here I'm sort of allergic to Nature myself oh I just love it I'm so thrilled to be here he looks good you want less trees more trees how's that looking sure that's fine you know anything about the history of this place have you looked into it not really we just go where they send us you know the guy who runs this a fascinating guy uh he was telling me about the history of it really a magical place it's you know it's can you say that again I'm sorry is it's a magical magical place I got him I got him back in 1913 Julia Morgan She Was An Architect and she designed this entire place they set it up as a conference center for the western division of the YWCA and they would hold all of their meetings here and the name of the place it's called aamar you know who knows what aamar is and I was asking him he said well AO or ailio means refuge and Mar means see it was if we're good we could start that's interesting hear that David I heard this is a refuge by the Sea and it's just it's just stunning it's just so beautiful I'm so excited to be here great Wayne just so you know tomorrow on the next day we'll just ask you uh questions and you go ahead and answer and then we'll move locations and do more of the same and I'll also be shooting some b-roll over the next couple of days what B b-roll b-roll like like walk Sho thees that are listen it's it's your vision I'm I'm I'm open to anything whatever you see I'm I'm happy to go along with it well I'm more of a technician on this one really wow you know what you might find yourself learning something maybe well I'm open to it great uh let's go ahead and roll camera we're Speedy sounds good all right Sarah would you be kind enough to slate it I would love to you're going to slate me I'm going to slate you all right Dr Dyer interview one okay Wayne you came up here to to write your latest book can you tell us a little bit about what you came up to write about yeah I'd be happy to one of the things that has intrigued me over the years is so many people coming up when I talk about purpose and finding finding meaning in their life is uh what is my purpose how do I find it it always seems to be eluding me I can't seem to get there I've always felt that uh the real purpose of life is is just to be happy to enjoy your life to get to a place where you're not always trying to get someplace else so many people spend their lives striving trying to be someplace that they're not they never get to arrive one of the ways to understand understand about how to find your purpose in your life is to return to Nature to find your own nature I wrote a book a few years back how change your thoughts change your life was based upon the ancient teachings of Lau in a book called The Da to Ching Lau reminds us that all being originates in non-being Jesus put it this way in the New Testament it's the spirit that gives life that you didn't really come from your parents you're you really all of us came from this place called Spirit when you showed up here in this world you showed up here from a tiny little drop of human protoplasm a speck if you will and everything that was in that little speck that became you everything that you needed was in that tiny little spec one of the most important metaphors that I ever use is that the first nine months of your life from the moment of your conception until the moment of your birth everything was being handled for you there was nothing for you to do you don't get consumed with the color your eyes are going to be or what your body is going to look like it's all taken care of for you you just surrender I call it a future pull and it's pulling it's pulling you in the direction of whatever it is that you were supposed to be and to me it's not too great a stretch to say if everything you needed for the physical Journey was already handled in there then why not everything for the rest of the journey as well all of your purpose it's in there all of what you your personality it's in there everything that you were to be not not just the physical you but everything if you just let go and allow and so we're born and we look at this beautiful little creature as parents I have eight children I've seen it happen many times and you look at this beautiful little child and you look at it and you say great work God great work couldn't be any better we'll take over from here and then we're surrounded by all these people our family our culture wherever we go and we begin to be told that we can't really trust in in who we are we have to trust in something outside of ourselves so we're on a journey towards ambition once you begin to say we'll take over from here you introduce something you just take this Perfection and you just Edge out the Creator you edge God out e g o ego this ego is the part of us that starts to tell us who you are is not this perfect Divine creation this peace of God that you came from it doesn't say that it says who you are is what you have it begins with things like our toys and then our bank accounts and then the possessions that we have before you know it we begin to identify ourselves on the basis of our possessions we begin to take on a set of beliefs about the more that I have the more valuable I am as a person and so we spend our lives taking these young children and immersing them in a culture that emphasizes more it becomes almost a mantra of the ego you have to have more and the more you have the more you are aware of how much other people are trying to take it away from you the more you get consumed with how do I protect it and how do I make more of what I have the dilemma here is that if you are what you have and things go away then who you are also goes away in the process going somewhere yeah I thought I'd come with you why why not because this is a work thing I'll be in meetings all day tomorrow we'll have nothing to do doesn't matter if you're busy I'll go shopping or something I'll be fine hi sorry we won't be needing you after all than he can go what are you doing come on it'll be a beautiful drive which car should we take you are not coming and I do not want to drive I want to be driven because I have work to do okay well then I'll drive let's take the Porsche Denise the place I'm going it's not the kind of place you're used to it's rustic I think I can handle it Chad I know how to rough it you know I don't understand the sudden desire to spend time together I just want to get away would you prefer I got my own r room okay what's wrong with you maybe I'm interrupting something oh come on are you meeting someone out there of course not look I don't even want to go to this thing well then all the more reason I should go with you you're not going to fit all those bags in the Porsche why don't you help me try the second aspect of the ego is this idea that I am not only what I have but I am what I do as well we are you going to get that no no please go ahead that's all right stopped here do you want anything Dr D you want water or anything no no I'm fine still rolling guys we're cutting what oh keep rolling keep rolling please so second component of this ego is the idea that not only is who I am what I have but it's what I do and what I do becomes this thing called achievement and in this whole world of believing that I am what I do we become consumed with this whole idea of My Success my value my worth as a human being is based upon how much I accomplish so I have to make more money I have to get a promotion I have to compete with everybody else who's trying to get what I have we are taught this over and over and over again all of our young people are taught this when they go out into Athletics the most important thing you can do is be number one and you say we're number one we're better than everybody else and we constantly find ourselves in this competitive notion again of of believing that our world is one in which we have to compete that's what the ego says now the third aspect of this is the idea that I am what other people think of me that is I am my reputation particularly this is relevant for young people who are taught that you have to dress the way other people think and if other people don't like you then there's something wrong with you if you're consumed with that then you're going to be something different every time you turn around now this is particularly relevant with women and especially in relationship to the family women are often taught in our culture and our society that the only way that you can fulfill yourself is by how you relate to your family to yourself as a daughter to yourself as a mother to yourself as a grandmother and while these are very important and creative aspects of every woman's life if that's the choice that they make it's not necessarily the only thing and many women feel that deep within them that they have a calling to accomplish something great to make a contribution and often times we'll put it aside so what I encourage women to think is don't ignore that calling inside of you don't ignore the part of you that says you came here to create something powerful and you have just as much of an influence in doing that just as much of a right to do that as anyone else [Music] does sure I saw that one too too I wonder if I can get the whole collection on DVD I think that might be a possibility you know what my favorite episode is I don't kick the can now that is a good one you know when all the old people become young again yes yes heartbreaking isn't that you know I I the other episode I like is the one where you know what I'd like to uh check in oh I'm sorry are you are you with the wedding uh no there's a wedding people actually get married here yeah all the time I'm not criticizing it I think it's Charming Chad Moore more development yes Ethan Lipton I used to work for your company a few years ago oh right yeah yeah in accounting yeah sure darling we'll talk later okay okay oh be sure to tell the guys to show up on time tomorrow night at the rehearsal dinner this whole weekend is going to be a continuous celebration of love I do like love well that's why I'm in this business bye are you getting married uh no I'm with the band oh well have a fun weekend of love you guys too do you remember that guy not at all hi there hey see I'm checking in uh the house of something promise and hope uh promise it Chad Moore I'm on the board welcome to a silar Mr Moore we have you in North Long views if you go out the door and to your left my wife has joined me unexpectedly so could we get one of the larger rooms to tell him that well they weren't expecting you you were unexpect one of the nicer rooms would be wonderful thank you I'm not used to camping camping that's funny to let me see what I can do for you there's so much stuff we can do oh that' be cool where are the kids huh oh uh Ethan whoa Jack Ethan come over here not yet come on come on get over here come here Troopers take you go with your mom stay on my toes yeah and uh also something away from all the noise would be nice I do have a room on the first floor in the lodge building yeah uh something higher of course Mr Mor do have a room on the second floor higher than that please I'm afraid that's about as high as we go here you're kidding what a waste of real estate I think you like this room it has a balcony all right if you say so give me a second give that to your mother you give that to your mother you heard her hand it over I said we were going to be unplugged this whole weekend you guys just want to go home get on the no we're not going to go home it's no fun come here stand with me here jump on my feet jump on my feet I'll there's no way we can have all these meetings with these kids running run screaming have a great state look I don't need to be having this conversation right now I don't have time for this I can't deal with this right now I not we move into then the later parts of the ego which talks about something called separation and the ego has a very strong belief system that who I am is separate from everybody else and then another component of the ego teaches us that I'm also separate from everything that's missing in my life from all the things that I'd like to have and then finally the ego teaches us the most egregious error of all it teaches us that we are separate from God and one of the simple constructs that you learn in the afternoon of your life when you shift into the meaning phase of your life is to realize that you came from a source we can call it God we can call it Dao it doesn't matter what we call it and that this source is everywhere there's no place that it is not it must be because it creates everything everything comes from this Source then it must be in me if there's no place that it's not it must be in me and if it must be in me it must also be in whatever it is that I feel to be missing from my life if you know that then in some way everything that's missing from your life life that you would like to have you're already connected to it in spirit and all you have to do is figure out a way to align yourself with that and have a knowing that you're already connected to it you just have to bring it on its way and the way that you think and process what was that out loud yeah you just said that out loud sorry that's okay it is intense there's no question about it very intense please continue okay I was saying that we move into the afternoon of our life we take the same ego constructs that we learned in the morning of our life which is all about competition winning being better than everybody else and we try to apply these same constructs to the afternoon of our life and what happens is we end up living a lie for what was true in the morning in the evening has become a lie we the problem is we don't really know how to move into the meaning phase of our life this is when we have to learn to go back to those first nine months from the moment of our conception until the moment of our birth Lau speaks about this in the da to Ching let yourself be lived by it he says that the da does nothing it's leaving nothing undone this is where we have to get to a place where we can surrender and have a knowing that we're not alone and that we're going to be guided and that we have a nature and that we can trust in this nature it's not something that we have to always be struggling with it's not something we have to be in charge of literally think about it let yourself be lived by it rather than you taking over but as we move into the meaning phase of our life what's happening is we begin to think about fulfilling a Dharma fulfilling a destiny fulfilling something inside of us a calling that only we can feel inside of us no one else can tell you what that is but if you feel it and you know it winning and being ahead of other people takes a backseat to feeling fulfilled and living your life on purpose I'm coming to get you no Ethan don't throw sand hey we got anything to drink juice box sure I'm going to go back and get some more sunscreen we got clouds No they can still get burned okay you going to walk back yeah I'll be fast we can wrap it up here no no look at them they're having so much fun I don't want to drag them away I'll be right back okay you got some great stuff well I think it was a good start I think it really was I think uh I think you're going to see this thing come together in some unexpected ways you're going to be surprised really are directors don't like surprises well you're in for some great I see you in the morning I look forward to it thanks for everything it was great thank you thank you guys thanks for everything yeah thank you you're welcome see you later yep okay see you tomorrow thank you [Music] [Music] amazing isn't it yes it is looks like they're reaching for each other sorry well the the trees it looks just like they're reaching for each other yeah you're right it does a whole place it's like a different painting every day you know you're very fortunate to work here hey you want a lollipop excuse me it's root beer you like root beer actually I do it's root beer but with a little bit of liquid thank you I like it I like everything about this place like what what do you like about it I don't know uh it's just it's it's so beautiful I I I can't describe it in words yeah I guess so I mean words versus images images pictures no don't do that either I used to when I was in college I used to drive down to the beach and i' I'd sketch for hours oh well doesn't matter anyway oh well hey Mom where you been what we got cold you eating a lollipop I am any candy for the kids no I'm sorry I oh that's let's go back come on buddy let's go yeah all right it's okay here I don't get it to be honest with you that really doesn't surprise any of us David seriously if I didn't have ambition nothing we got done oh is that supposed to be a common about us have a napk please you know what I mean like we're supposed to sit around and and wait for things to happen to us magically there's nothing wrong with a little magic in life I can't trust magic what I can trust is my own will to get things done that's my main problem with what Dr Dyer's saying okay he's right there you want to keep it down he didn't hear me Dr Dyer you want to come join us sure I'd love to how you guys doing great chicken's great M good good so Dr Dyer yes um we were all just discussing the first interview and all those things you said and basically d thinks that it's all Bs what David I I don't think all of it is I mean we're I'm I'm entitled to my own opinion right absolutely you are entitled to your opinion I respect it and you know David you don't have to get this all at once you know just get a little bit at a time that's that's all it takes you know if you start practicing it eventually it becomes a way of life and you start living from a different perspective I'm not really a spiritual person I'm too busy yeah spirituality is kind of like a luxury that is true I find it hard to find time to meditate let me ask you this do you think that you're U an inspired person do you live an Inspired Life do you feel inspired um I I have no idea really well let's let's take an example let's supposing I had a an apple pie that we had just made and out of this apple pie we take one slice we take this we take the rest of the pie put it over here and I take this slice and I give it to someone let's say I gave it to you Ron and I say Ron what is this um what's an apple pie how do you know that how do you know it's an apple pie because it came from an apple pie so well you laugh but I mean the truth is that's a very profound statement that you just made that everything in the universe must be like what it came from you take an acorn and you'll never get a rose bush out of it you look at yourself and you ask yourself the question where did I come from who am I and what am I like you know instead of making our choices out of the place that we really are our authentic self we're making them out of the ego and every time we make choices out of the ego all kinds of things begin to happen to us that take us away from finding meaning higher Liv so how do you know if you're making a choice from your your higher self you gauge everything on the basis of how you feel are you stressed out are you anxious are you fearful are you angry do you feel good about yourself do you feel like you're on purpose do you feel like your life has any meaning when you're operating out of the only part of yourself that is authentic Bliss is your response but what about about the upside of ambition I mean I'm I'm a filmmaker and and if if I didn't doesn't ego serve me I mean if I was going with the flow I had I'd never get a movie made that's a conclusion that You' come to because you think out of the ego you know the fact is that uh you might even be able to make much greater films if you came out of a of a of a higher Place imagine yourself as being able to live and work and do everything that you do from this place that well it's called Dharma what's Dharma Dharma is a spiritual principle that implies there is a purpose to our lives like an otter has a Dharma a bird has a Dharma everything has a purpose and when you find yourself living from that purpose you're you have found your Dharma your Dharma is something that you're you know you will be living by and rather than constantly using the ego you will begin to say this is what I'm here for it's like I call it a calling it's like an inner calling how do you know what your uh Dharma is like what if you can't even find your Dharma yeah I can't even find a date let alone my Dharma well your your your Dharma isn't anything you're ever going to find your Dharma is something that you're always connected to it is uh it is your Divine Purpose it is something that you are aligned with through your entire life the ego has kept us away from excuse me I have to take this this is what I'm talking about I'm sorry to interrupt how does this help me find a date exactly you don't need to find a date if you live what I'm talking about you'll understand that everything will be perfect and everyone that comes into your life will come in on time perfectly you're a Divine creation of God you're a spiritual being you don't need anyone else to confirm that I love that it's true Dr Dyer said it was it is true you know I I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate what you're saying I do I not that you would necessarily be concerned with what I'm saying because that's the ego telling you what to think right so you so you were listening am listen I just think it's good to have a plan well what's your plan to be a success full filmmaker to make a name for myself to make money to have a good relationship so you're talking here about Prosperity you're talking about abundance you're talking about happiness I haven't have any problem with that I've I've been attracting abundance and prosperity into my life forever I think it's I think it's actually quite quite easy to do I really believe in it for you well you know the the problem what you're talking about here is the ego the ego and that and and your attachments you know you become attached to uh you know how much money you're making and uh how well you're f is doing and is is everything working the way I you know I've been told that it should work when you become attached to things and they go away you then lose who you are but it feels so much like survival we're not talking about survival here we're talking about a shift a shift away from the the morning of your life and and having to do everything for uh external reasons and moving into uh into a higher place in your life why don't we start with that tomorrow how to make this shift it's a good idea you know I tell my audiences all the time that uh if this is something new to you and you've never heard it before there's a shift probably heading your way as well that's all I need it could happen [Music] [Music] when great thinkers talk about Union with God there's this theme that comes through it's about being in silence when everyone else is asleep and there are no distractions when you feel yourself alone with Source this is the time when you are closest to Source being alone with source is not just about feeling good it's about a new awareness of my own Divinity and what it's capable of achieving it's all about returning back to the place that you came from TS Elliott has a great quote we shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time I got a cut Wayne hold there for a minute hold there Wayne for a second what is it it's a bad angle I got to be lower how long 5 minutes Wayne take five just hang there we're readjusting the shot absolutely no problem you want some water Dr Dyer no thanks I have an ocean here finish that test real all right all right hi you've reached the office of Alex chase at ICM please leave a message for Alex or Jason at the tone thanks Alex is David call me back when you get this I'm I'm getting a little anany I I think we should have heard by now what the executive say that do you know anything and and why haven't I had a meeting yet see the difference call me back I'd appreciate it Wayne Dyer interviews day two really okay we'll start with the transition from ambition to meaning great it's good idea I can give you an example from my own life might be helpful I when I first started writing I was very blessed to be uh considered quote successful my motivation very often became um how much money was I going to make on this book what was my next contract going to look like um how many weeks did it appear on the New York Times bestseller list what position was it um um did you get on the tonight's show did you get on the Donna Hugh show hold on I'm confused yeah yeah if you were success who cares what was motivating you well I guess you begin to change your definition of uh what it is that constitutes success I mean success uh can be identified in those terms and uh and there are other ways to look at it as well but there's people listening to you I mean where would you be if you didn't initiate it I mean it got you started right I'm sorry to interrupt are we switching to a Q&A format I I'm just I'm just curious sorry oh that's okay it's a very normal question it's it's a very common concern that people have for myself we talked about my writing David and yes by all means it was successful but there was a part of me inside of me that said there's uh there's something more for me I was writing books about psychology your erroneous sounds pulling your own strings the sky is the limit all of them were doing well all of them were bestsellers it was all but inside of me I was shifting there was a calling to something else and I could see the shift taking place in my life and the shift was um it was more in the direction of spirituality it was more in the direction of higher Consciousness I began to become excited and and and thrilled by by reading people like chrishna mte by reading people like Muk tananda and I remember going to my agent and I said I want to write a book about how to take some of these great spiritual ideas he said no no no no no you're going to write a book about sex he said this is going to sell this is like uh Dr Ruth has got one but you're way better than Dr Ruth you know and he's going on and on and and he said and then I've got a second book for you and we're going to do a two-book deal and you're going to write a book about how to make money you know Wayne Dyer's approach to making money and I'd say Arty I said that's I can't do that I said I I have to write about he said no nobody's going to buy this stuff he said this is just he said that's just for that's the Airy Fairy stuff that's out there that's all that new Agy stuff he said you don't want to I said but I have to write that that's what I'm living that's what I'm feeling it's so exciting and I remember submitting the proposal to him and he said all right I'll send it in and they reluctantly didn't give me much of an advance at all because they didn't even believe in it but off I went there was a strong inner kind of feeling that I had something greater to give I had something that I had to do that was beyond just going through the motions just doing what I had already mastered what I knew how to do I remember when I made the shift even though there was a little bit of fear I remember feeling probably the freest that I'd that I'd felt ever in my life I wasn't motivated by whether people are going to buy it how much money I'm going to make whether people are going to put me on a bestseller list those became external kind of factors those became things that started to chase me rather than me chasing it basically I think David what I'm trying to say to you is that that you get to a place in your life where you start to be guided by something that's larger than yourself just stay aligned with what you're here for and stay in harmony with spirit with god with Source stay there and as you stay there meaning phase of your life begins to take over and once you cross over into the afternoon of your life it's impossible to go back wait Monday you can't keep telling me Monday if it was coming through it would come through like like five Mondays ago oh we can take a pause here for a second no you are not telling me this right now what do you mean they're replacing me you don't know what to tell me this movie meant everything to me this I I brought them this movie it's my movie this movie meant everything to me damn it okay this would be a great place to break is he okay you think is he I think he's going to be fine this is called it lunch everybody get something to eat okay and then um soon as I lunch is one half hour if anybody is interested in County project hey you up for late game of golf absolutely okay I'll reserve it thanks you know how long this meeting is going to last after lunch I don't really know I think they're saving some of the big items until the end like what well they're a million down in the San Francisco project the contractor under bid now they're over budget you know what listen you can catch me up on all that stuff this afternoon we play golf you're not coming back oh no I am I'm going to try I just uh got a lot of work to do see you later okay good book not bad I'm sort of a slow reader but it's being patient with me you said you worked for my husband a long time ago I don't think he remembers me oh I think he remembers you well he let a bunch of us go all at once cuz you know he needed to scale back sorry about that hey it's okay truly it's one of the best things that ever happened to me I needed to try some different things pursue some other avenues like your music like my music yeah well it sounds like your story has a happy ending not yet I hope no don't rush me now no that's know what I meant I meant you uh seem happy come on hey you know what you and Chad I'd come to this party that we're playing at tonight oh thanks anyway yeah come on it's supposed to be a continuous celebration of Love isn't that what she called it oh yes I I think she did so you guys have to be there to help us continuously celebrate I can't crash a party I just invited you you can't invite us too late sorry happened h no thanks though I'll see you around okay where's something comfortable Denise Denise hey slow down stop oh hi why did you stop I didn't see you there where you going uh I was going into town I thought you were in meetings all day I was but uh I'm bored yeah well if Hugh Johnson can do it you can do it I'm not cut out for this nonprofit things a Chad you just got to fake it I'm coming with you what I said I'm coming into town with you honey I love you but I don't enjoy shopping with you I need some me time I thought we were supposed to spend time together right look Denise I'm not kidding I cannot take another meeting I'm coming with you whatever ah hey guys stop it take it over there or you're going to lose a water guns oh they got you all wet it's no big deal it's just water what water is soft don't don't don't give it another thought that's great I am so sorry don't be sorry I got eight kids of my own I've got grandchildren um you know these things happen things get messy once in a while it's fun well thank you that makes me feel a little bit better I always see it as an opportunity to sort of Practice What I Call non-interference oh I wish I could do that oh you can of course you can really I mean I'm their mother isn't that a little irresponsible I don't see it as irresponsible at all I think parenting is not about having children lean on you it's about making leaning unnecessary they've got a compass let them follow their own Compass what would I do with myself if I wasn't interfering oh I don't know do you ever think about music or art or something like that how'd you know know what nothing thank you it was really really nice talking to you oh you too God bless you Namaste Namaste all right guys come on time for lunch I don't want to eat dad uh just come and eat when you're hungry I'm [Music] thirsty 109 y 11 touchdowns and only five interceptions now listen Bob the next man you want and definitely had that signature moment during the game get the on Tuesday by [Music] [Music] I think I'll return that dress one you just bought the red one I waited 45 minutes for you to decide if you're going to buy that I don't think I like it then why'd you buy it actually I I think I already have it took you an hour to buy a dress that you already have this is exactly why you shouldn't come shopping with me I've got an idea how about if we just not talk to each other at all Chad I should I really should have come alone I got a lot on my mind you've got a lot on your mind what could you possibly have on your mind all right I wasn't going to tell you this until tonight but what this weekend is a a ride off for you right cuz you're on the board of that charity right you're about to have another write off what's that supposed to mean God I'm trying to put this in a way you can relate to yeah well I'm I'm not relating I'm pregnant what you're joking no I'm not joking I don't want kids I know I know I didn't either but this just happened and I thought I don't know maybe it's time for change you know that we should experience this thing that everyone says is so wonderful you know maybe maybe it's time to stop being so selfish and start thinking about something other want be selfish I like being selfish I like our lives we come and go when we want we're happy you think we're happy Chad I I don't know if we're happy I mean God you're you're always at work we're we're we never see each other work because I need to buy you the things that you want Denise cars clothes houses everything you want but still it's not enough to make you happy please keep it down I want this baby I think it could be the most wonderful thing we could do with our lives come on I get what this is about this is about you feeling like you haven't done anything in your life so you think you need a baby to feel validated well you know what I don't I worked my way up from nothing and I will not sacrifice our lifestyle so that you can indulge in yet another distraction wow a baby is not a pair of shoes Denise I know that Chad you are so cruel and you're so mean God you used to be fun I what is it what has happened you planned this didn't you it wasn't excident sir I'm going to have to ask you to leave it can happen how could you do this how could you do this thank you so much thank you for making this the the tender precious moment that everyone tender precious moment we don't have tender Precious Moments you know we did have we had a prenup an agreement you signed it no kids I know and I changed my mind okay people can change you I didn't change my mind what are you going to do about it divorce me cuz I'm pregnant I might as a matter of fact I'm definitely divorcing you will you please shut up I definitely I don't care go ahead I'm better off raising this baby without you good luck you signed that prup you won't get much I'll make sure of I hate you sir fine I still need you I'm fine sir I am still going to have to ask you to leave oh I'm leaving don't worry about paying no I am definitely paying for this Meal please sir it's not necessary oh she she's got my wallet hey you took my wallet you klepto Maniac you left in the room you I'm calling my lawyer I'm calling my lawyer right now oh really how you going to do that without your precious phone hey come back come back [Music] just hear you say testing testing 1 2 3 can you hear me right okay isn't nicer than being in the cold huh it is you want to stay with the same frame size right yeah sure okay guys ready okay ring okay Wayne can you just shift your chair just a tiny oh perfect perfect perfect okay so we good we are good all right David we're rolling David David why why don't we take it from where Wayne was talking about the shift we can just continue from there sounds good to me okay this this shift this movement from ambition to meaning from the morning to the afternoon of your life generally it's preceded by what we call a Quantum moment moment sounds strange perhaps to use a term like that but Quantum moment really refers to uh the the characteristics of what it is like when you have what maslo call a peak experience uh the first of these qualities there's four of them the first of them is is that it's very Vivid the second quality or characteristic of these Quantum moments is that uh it's a surprise and the third characteristic of these Quantum moments is that they are benevolent they always feel good the fourth and final quality is that it's enduring that is it isn't just something that comes and then goes and it's out the window it lasts with you forever for example uh I left drinking behind in my life 21 years ago and I couldn't even imagine that I could have given it up cuz I'd always had two or three beers every single day for the previous uh 10 15 20 years I couldn't even remember a day when I hadn't and uh I knew that I had to make that that change and it was 4:05 a.m. in the morning I could remember the clock when it when it turned I woke up and there was like it was like a breeze in the room something that i' I've never experienced before the smell of roses this was 21 years ago now I can tell you what was uh what was hanging on the closet the hook that I had there on the mirror there I had a little cartoon that I had there I can still see that thing exactly as if as if it happened this morning the vividness of this is something that I've never ever been a able to forget I can remember how surprised I was at what was happening at that time it was almost as if um some kind of force had had taken over and I just I was just amazed by it so if you're lucky this happens to you David it has nothing to do with luck it's like when the moment is right when you are in a different state and a different place in your life uh exactly what is supposed to happen will happen for you the low points in your own life these times when you think that nothing could go go any worse often times are the things that we need to propel ourselves to a higher place let me give you an example the night before that moment that I just described to you I had taken my entire family five children and my wife and we had all gone to this restaurant and like I always did every single time I went to a restaurant I ordered not just one beer but two and that was so that uh in case the waiter wasn't there when I wanted my second one I would be able to have it and the waiter said to me oh excuse me sir he said uh I'm sorry but uh uh I can't serve you alcohol and I said why he said well uh last night one of our waiters served someone who was underage and we had our license suspended I said come on we're getting out of here and I made each one of my children get up get e into the car strapped into their car seats and so on my wife who God knows had so much to do and it was such a hardship for her but it didn't seem to matter to me that time because I wanted to have my beers and I was making myself more important than everyone else and we drove off and went to another restaurant and I can remember thinking that night as I went to sleep how how ashamed I was my wife tried to talk to me a little bit about it but I would have none of it I was right and that's just what the ego always makes you it makes you right and that night that experience that I had at 4:05 a.m. the next day not only did it get me off of alcohol but probably saved my life it it transformed my life in so many different ways and it was all because I was open to it you don't believe that sounds like more sitting around until some sort of epiphany comes to you it's not about waiting around you know in the Dao one of the great lessons that I learned is that it teaches us how to be soft how to be flexible how to not be always in control one of the great teachings of the do says that let yourself be lived by it but you didn't do anything that's the whole point that's the place you want to get to where you just allow in the recovery movement it's called letting go and letting God allowing this source that is always flowing through each and every one of us to do and perform its magic and that magic will always work in our best interest if we just surrender to it if you could just stop inter fearing in your own life and just let yourself be done if you can get to that place nothing will be left undone everything that you need will be there for you it's mysterious for most of us because we believe that we're the ones who have to do everything isn't it interesting that you had everything you needed in the first 9 months why isn't that true for the next 90 years because we interfere when I was 19 years old I was uh in the United States Navy and as an enlisted man and I was given my assignment to uh join the uh aircraft carrier the USS Ranger and U it was on deployment in uh yokuska Japan so I boarded a refrigerator ship the USS Vega in Alam California and just as I was getting on that ship to take my 29 day voyage across the Pacific Ocean my Uncle Bill Bill volik who was a school teacher in Hayward California handed me a copy of a book and the book was a collection of short stories written by Leo tosto he wrote not just great novels and great stories but great spiritual literature as well he was considered to be the soul of Russia and uh the first story in this collection was called The Death of Ivan illich now Ivan illich was a judge who lived in Moscow one of the more important features of this story is his relationship to his wife who he basically hated because he despised his work and he felt that she had pressured him and pushed him into doing this that it was a prestigious thing to do and he was filled with internal rage and anger at what he had done the title of the story kind of gives it away The Death of Ivan illich you know he's going to die now Ivan illich was lying on his deathbed and his wife is holding his hand this woman that basically he despised for all of his life and he looks up into her eyes and his last words are what if my whole life has been wrong and he died I was very shaken and very moved by that and I took out a pad of paper and I wrote a note to myself and I said said dear Wayne don't die with your music still in you and I've lived that for my entire life when you die you will return to that source and you will be in that space of love but the da says that you don't have to die to get there you can die to the ego and live from that space of perfect love while you're here that Vivid surprising benevolent enduring quality that defines the quantum moment that leads us into the shift is really an indication that you're returning back to the source you're beginning to live from the da it's reconnecting with the field of intention in Greek the word enthusiasm breaks down to entheos ASM which means the God within when you have passion when you have enthusiasm for something inside of you that's really God speaking to you and saying to you don't get to the end of your life and have to be able to say what Ivan ill said what if my whole life has been wrong I can't think of a greater tragedy than that [Music] I [Music] [Music] [Music] where hey Mom what what is it Earth the mom where'd you go I'm sorry it's just it's so beautiful I was imagining how I'd paint these trees you don't put paint on trees oh no honey it's um like make a painting of it you know like you make a picture in School Mom you're not a painter I haven't seen you paint anything all right uh next one to that rock up there W go go let go get him go get him hey get some money God bless you what I said God bless you why would you say that I didn't even give you any money you got any money not at the moment what you need to call a cab hey here you go this should help you thanks wouldn't happen to have a cell phone in there would you I don't need one you make money with that stuff I me good money where do you live over there over there but my favorite place is there under that tree that's my favorite I know that tree we are friends it's a good one huh you know what you got to do get some of these bottles and you can make some money there's a machine down there you put the bottles in and you make some money thanks maybe I can save up for a cell phone [Laughter] hey do you have some money I do I have six pennies God bless you synchronicities it's like a collaboration with fate all of that becomes the norm when the ego is no longer the driving force in your life you begin to recognize that there's a powerful organizing intelligence that's in all things and it's working with you and for you almost as if you're making it happen by just being connected to your [Music] Source the destiny that appeared to be imposed upon you by something outside of yourself is no longer the relevant driving force in your life you're connected to the source and it's almost as if this Divine organizing intelligence God the da whatever you want to call it it's almost as if it's saying to you you play the music that you came here to play and I'll be there to help you overcome any struggle or any obstacle that comes along and it's not going to be a struggle because source is supporting you yes hi um could I get a cab please to uh Monteray Motors yes thank you thank you very much bye all right I think I can't stop thinking about what you said about a destiny being imposed upon you well you know I I think all of us each and every one of us have a knowing within us you know it's been said that when you trust in yourself you're trusting in the very wisdom that created you it's there it's there to tell us who we are and what we're meant to be I know but so much of society is putting stuff people it seems like all the time can I ask you a question sure are men and women different when it comes to this do they shift differently it's very different as a matter of fact there's some recent studies that I've just been published on that i' I'd be happy to share them with you if you like that would be great okay super all right I'm taking off okay man I'll catch you so there was this incredible study done it's uh I've got it right here it's called the moment that turns your values upside down and there's four components to it there's men and women before and after now before one of these Quantum moments they were asked just to list uh the most important priorities of their life from the most important to the least important now for men the very first and most important value that they had Learned was wealth the accumulation of money it's not really that big a surprise because we are taught as men when we growing up that your job is to support your family your job is to get ahead the second most important value for all of these men was u a sense of adventure to go out there and what conquer the world whatever yeah absolutely be the be the you know the macho guy the third was achievement you know as men we're raised to believe that you are what you what you do what you accomplish what you're able to create the fourth is the idea of pleasure you know going out with the guys getting as many dates as you can having as much fun as you possibly can the uh fifth of these was to be respected all right and we all know as men what that means you know you're not giving me any respect man and then you get out there and when you're growing up and you're a kid and if you don't get respect you're having fights here are the top priorities of Our Lives you know be able to make money to have a sense of adventure to have you know to to achieve to feel pleasure to be respected that's basically the morning of our life this sounds like my list what are you talking about when was the last time you had fun oh do not even listen to her I know how to have fun do you mind I'm trying to hear Wayne go on thank you I appreciate that all right so the second part of the study which is the after a Quantum shift has taken place same questions only it's many years later and they followed this over over a lifetime and the number one value is spirituality spirituality the number one thing it has gone from making money to spirituality which wasn't even on the list before you can't even find it I've got the top 15 of them listed right here it's not even on there the second one is personal peace less anxiety less stress if you will the third one is family now family was on the other list but it was way down at before now what happens after one of these moment you begin to look around and say what is it that's important to me in my life and then the next is God's will this is the one that says I have a sense of purpose mhm and then honesty is the fifth quality not just honest that I don't steal but how honest am I as as a man you know with my feelings with with yeah that's exactly right you know those are the top qualities for men so there's the before and there's the BF you can see what a significant change this is what a what a shift has taken place here hey everybody W hello thank you we are very glad to be here tonight uh Steve and Lisa are dear old friends of mine and so when they asked me about the prospect of our band playing at their wedding I felt like I had no choice but to say are you sure are you positive that's something you want to inflict upon your friends and family at your wedding day celebration and Steve and Lisa assured me that that was exactly what they wanted to inflict upon their friends and family at their wedding day celebration and so here we are you need a bossy man to love you a bossing man to hold your clothes bossy man to dress and care for you a bossy man to take control you need a man with all the answers bossing man who run the show the boss and man he pays for everything he never says I do not know [Music] okay I know what you're going to ask I can already tell yeah what's the deal with the women bring it on for women it's even more astonishing before one of these Quantum moments the number one value is family and it's not surprising because women are kind of raised in our society in our culture to be a good mother to be a good daughter to support your family to take care of your children and so on the second one which might surprise you was a sense of uh of independence of feeling as if uh I would like to feel Independent Women are very conflicted yeah makes sense the third was career now very often women never even felt that they had a right to go for a career because they were obligated to be taking care of their family and this is not a put down of that at all what we're saying here is that there's something more the fourth quality for women was fitting in having to be like everybody else and so on yeah and then finally attractiveness and this became not just like it's nice to look nice but my whole values are and how do I look and where do we get this you know what that is so scary when you break it down like that because where is it that we learn as women were supposed to be pleasing everybody else all the time well go on the news stand you know all you see are magazines with pictures of girls with waists this big and uh you know with implants lots of emphasis on makeup having the right labels where you know carrying the right bags and so on so these became the top uh qualities or characteristics or values for women before one of these shifts oh I hope the after list is better their values shift dramatically the number one value for women after having this experience it's right here is my own personal growth now remember before it was like taking care of everybody else doing the right thing fitting in and now it's all of a sudden how am I growing as a human being how do I feel about myself the second is a sense of self-esteem am I worth anything how do I feel about myself am I valuable human being the third one is spirituality my my sense of my connectedness to something bigger and greater than myself and then happiness again this wasn't even on the list it was almost at the bottom of the list before how often have women been raised to believe that their happiness isn't an important thing that doing what they are supposed to do rather than feeling you know a sense of I'm entitled to be happy and then a very interesting one it's called forgiveness this became very important in their lives forgiveness that's good cuz then you can forgive all those people that gave you bad information about what you're supposed to be doing yeah there's a whole lot of uh resentment that begins to take place in people it's it's it's what so many people just go along with oh Joe this is hey you're the best thank you so much this is great we should be thank you very [Music] much good night guys guys so well in the hike today can I gra have a glass of water of course you can Jason what's this H this paper and pencil wasn't here before I don't know no idea Jason H think I'm going to take a shower okay [Music] [Music] you my feed [Music] Soul well the and the FL in the grocery store someone's getting Ras and F says to Flora really do adore you Flora says I know tell me why [Music] you are one hot spot in the sun after a long winter storm [Music] [Music] [Music] I don't know would you guys like to hear I think maybe the only true miracle that ever happened to me in my life a real Miracle yeah it was a it was an authentic miracle for me uh it was a healing that took place that I still can't explain so it was in the year 2000 and I had taken a group of uh 25 people on a spiritual tour to a cc I've made several visits there in fact I wrote an entire book called there's a spiritual solution to every problem based upon the Prayer of St Francis and I lectured for a couple of hours about it and we all had visited the places where St Francis had lived and performed so many of his miracles the next day we were going to take a tour to a place called San Damiano where uh St Claire who uh who was the first female to ever become a part of the franciscans lived and on the third floor of there was the bedroom exactly as it was in the 13th century there was a young man on that trip he was 21 years old his name was John he was from Pennsylvania he had cerebal PSY and he had two very heavy braces on each one of his legs we were going to go up to the third floor now this was a winding staircase to get up to the third level where St cla's bedroom was now John in order to be able to go up the steps he would have to move his leg out like this you can imagine and then he would go up the step and then he'd bring the other one down and then he'd go up the next step and he would bring it back cuz his legs were stiff but as we started to get into the very narrow part of the uh of the staircase he couldn't uh his legs wouldn't go out he could only go this far so he couldn't go up and you can imagine he couldn't go down it was impossible for him to go down so there he was he was stuck I was ahead of him and he stopped me and he said Wayne I'm I'm in trouble I can't go up another step because I can't get my leg out to the side there's no room and I can't go back down what are we going to do and there was a whole row of people behind waiting to go up this very narrow staircase so you have the [Music] picture old people whisper cuz old people can't hear we'll just talk louder and louder year after year stop looking at me funny get over here and I'll whisper you have great ju oh no old Wheels grow strong old bags grow stiff old feet grow wider and longer old dreamer d I'm drifting over your [Music] way Denise Denise hope so I said to him without even thinking John what I want you to do is just uh strap yourself uh on over my back and uh put your arms around my neck and and just lean over and I will carry you up these steps now what I haven't told you is that before we went on this trip I had done some major damage to this right knee of mine to a point where I had it examined by several Orthopedic Physicians and and I was told that there would come a time soon when I would have to have this knee replaced because it was down to you know bone on bone so as he got on my back and now we're talking about 240 LBS or so he went uh uh I went about three steps and I realized that my knee was about to collapse and I was going to go straight down and I had a quick vision of what the newspapers and the AC Daily News were going to say the next morning spiritual teacher collapses bottom of the stairs 40 people dead you know it was like and so as my KN started to go