Mars Cafe #56: "Stultus Festus" (Spicy Christmas Episode)

This party-sized episode includes a special advertisement from Square-Spice, haphazardly inserted during an important action scene. How excellent!

Christmas is coming to Mars, and so is a "Massive Anomaly" that has disabled the communication hub at Phobos Moon! (Something tells me the seeds of the Phase-4 narrative are secretly being sown in this episode!)

Original 2022 synopsis:

For the first time in generations, Christmas has come to Mars, thanks to modern, cut-throat, left/right politics!

THIS IS THE BIGGEST, MOST FESTIVE EPISODE EVER! (And it's FREE, as someone in the comments section of the previous chapter may have pointed out.)

Emory Bunny is still searching for the corpse of Plastic Risotto, but Sheriff Bill calls him back to base because "the storm of two centuries" is blowing in from the south-north...

The shipping lanes are being closed down, all air traffic is grounded, and the frontier city of Cabeza will have to button-up for a long, long night. To make matters worse, a gigantic anomaly has passed near Phobos Moon and knocked out the telephone-communication system...

On the plus side, Santa Claus is coming, maybe, and Bill is orchestrating a blow-out "dudes-only" party at the Policia Station...

It's the Season of Miracles in this super-sized Holiday Episode!

Andy-Robot clings to life in a chasm of plasma; General Wang Ding Bao plans a special meet-n-greet with the Cabeza Sheriff; Drusilla and the Dryads encounter a cybernetic psychopath that can't be reasoned with; Monica Berbergerber enjoys some special private-time on the Internet; Space-Byron mounts a desperate search for his old "enem-iend"; Emory is being racist, probably, and hates Christmas; Pedro and Cumbot return home from the hospital; Kevin receives a fancy surgery; Loafy puts sweets in his hole; Candy is due for a lobotomy; Froobius Ticklepatty has too much to drink; Plastic Risotto reconnects with an old appendage; Jesus Empanada gets mistaken for the Ghost of Christmas Past; Sheriff Bill hires a pianist, then settles down for a long winter's nap...

If you weren't in a festive mindset before now, you sure will be in about 25 minutes, give or take...

#Christmas #Joy #Peace #Love #Holiday #Festival #Solstice #Winter #SpiritOfChristmas #SaviorChrist #Noel #BoneyM #Stockings #Santa #StNick #ChristmasEve #Yuletide ##AirCommand #SkyPatrol #Purple #Milk #LynxPiss #SquareSpice #Liquor #MeatPie #Kidney #UFO #UAP #StarTrek #StarWars #CaptainKirk #KirkCameron #CameronDiaz #DiaDeMuertos #muertedigna #Anime #Hentai #InternetTube #ParticlePhysics #CERN #HAARP #KAARP #HYDRA #HanoiRocks #PianoMan #Mandingo #Progressive #Wolverine #July28 #JackFrost #AbominableSnowman #SugarPlum #Blizzard #WeatherApp #ChristmasParty #CoolBeans #JamaicanBobsled #HolyGhost #RiversOfBabylon #IdiotHoliday #Simulation #JoeRogan #RandallCarlson #YearsForMonths #livinginarizona #Aeneid #Satyricon #Odyssey #JimJarmusch #ElonMusk #MuskOxen #PeekABooAnus #BiggestEpisode #UniqueShots #ComplexAnimation #ThisIsHard #HavePityOnMe #LikeAndSubscribe #Stoicism #Mithras #Persia #Persepolis #SciFi #AncientAliens #Chimp #Neopacifism #PassiveClassicism

Celebrate the best of the season with your friends at The Mars Cafe.

Give money and food to needy people.

Buy gifts for poor kids.

Love your friends.

Hate your enemies.

Destroy that which you fail to understand.

Like & Subscribe.

Send Cash in the Mail.

Amen.

Music by Kelly Taylor.

Characters by Simmans.

Design by Froobius.

Christmas by Jesus.

God bless you.

THE MARS CAFE will NEVER return... until the next episode.

Based on the graphic novel “THE MARS CAFE: 300 OF THIS” by Sean Simmans. Available at https://www.drivethrucards.com/product/331143/THE-MARS-CAFE-300-OF-THIS

THE MARS CAFE is (c) 2005-2024 by Sean Simmans, all rights reserved. simmans@gmail.com

Original score, including INTRO, BILL'S THEME, EMORY'S THEME, and OUTRO written and performed by Kelly Taylor.

Visit http://TheMars.cafe for cash & prizes.

Buy THE PULP OF TAROT card deck here: https://www.drivethrucards.com/product/310614/The-Pulp-of-Tarot

Party time! Wooooo!