Premium Only Content

Mars Cafe #49: "Doom Hunt"
"Looks like everything's going to go sideways. It's gonna go REAL sideways." --Sheriff Bill
The whole frickin' plot comes to a crashing halt when Monica suddenly pulls the plug on the entirety of the KAARP investigation!
This is the end of everything. It's the final chapter of all that came before, and the first chapter of whatever comes next! It's the turning point for The Mars Cafe Cartoon Show---the ideal moment to begin investing in this narrative, or to turn around and walk away. (The latter option seems rather sulky and dramatic, if you're being honest with yourself.)
All roads lead to here, and even Almighty God doesn't know where they'll go next!
Cybernetic Super-Assassin "Plastic Risotto" has gone missing on Planet Mars, and the CIA will surely be wanting answers; Finally, filmmaker Froobius has assembled a Rough Cut of his Documentary film video TV project on the daily workings of The Cabeza Policia; Boss-lady Monica has drank too much of Bill's tasty Piss, but she still has to make very important decisions on how to proceed with all the Whatever; Sheriff Bill finds himself working against the clock, utilizes his keen intellect, and must destroy evidence while solidifying his Cabeza Policia team, then he extends an Olive Branch toward an alienated colleague; Emory Bunny heads out on a mission to the Wasteland, astride Bimby, his pet Plontiwog, and ultimately decides to toast marshmallows; Space-Byron revisits his past, embraces his detective nature, and makes amends with an Old Friend-Enemy; Kevin, Mike, Cumbot, and Pedro all embark upon a dangerous search; Loafy holds the fort at Air Command, despite his obsessive contempt for bird-houses...
Not everyone will survive this story. Who can say? Maybe they will. Fate is kinda like that. One minute, you're getting your excretory orifice bleached, and the next, it's just oblivion. (Ask Tony Soprano and your grandmother.)
This is the FINAL episode! Before the next episode! But it's a good one...
Dip your toe in, or your nipple, or your weenie, or whatever part suits you best!
Now, here come the Hashtags:
#CIA #FBI #KAARP #NASA #CERN #MUFON #DCEU #MCU #Hydra #Cobra #Serbia #AndyRobot #CandyIV #Mars #Cydonia #PBS #CBC #CDC #MI5 #IMF #EthanHunt #EthanHawke #Hawk #Hawkman #Owlman #SuperHero #SheHulk #SheMale #TreeMail #SkyMail #MailMan #MaleGaze #LynxPiss #SecretAgent #Death #Destruction #SeriesFinale #NotReally #Cyborg #Alien #UFO #UAP #Rockets #SpaceShip #Tractor #CaveDiving #Drones #SearchParty #DUI #Docking #BAC #Sobriety #Frenemy #Tampon #Uterus #Period #Wellness #Meditation #Cyborg #SexRobot #CoverUp #Dustin #Neil #John #BlackOps #Camping #StringTheory #Simulation #RomanRuins #Reconciliation #Aeronautics #MollyHatchet #BCS #BB #TESB #GoodVibrations #BadFeeling #MassCasualtyEvent #PoorDriving #NoSpoilers #BillCrashes
Like, Subscribe, and force a Friend to watch The Mars Cafe Cartoon Show. It's all good Karma for you. Once this show gets ONE MILLION subscribers, well... we're going to give out a FREE something-or-other. Aren't we? Free is Good. Like You, with all your banked Karma.
Hit me up if you wanna do some speedballin'... I'm here until Thursday.
Based on the graphic novel “THE MARS CAFE: 300 OF THIS” by Sean Simmans. Available at https://www.drivethrucards.com/product/331143/THE-MARS-CAFE-300-OF-THIS
THE MARS CAFE is (c) 2005-2024 by Sean Simmans, all rights reserved. simmans@gmail.com
Original score, including INTRO, BILL'S THEME, EMORY'S THEME, and OUTRO written and performed by Kelly Taylor.
Visit http://TheMars.cafe for cash & prizes.
Buy THE PULP OF TAROT card deck here: https://www.drivethrucards.com/product/310614/The-Pulp-of-Tarot
-
LIVE
Drew Hernandez
9 hours agoGHISLAINE MAXWELL SAYS CLAIMS EPSTEIN WAS INTELLIGENCE ASSET ARE BULLSH*T?!
536 watching -
29:54
Afshin Rattansi's Going Underground
16 hours agoUkraine: Prof. Anatol Lieven SLAMS Europe’s ‘BLOODY STUPIDITY’ as Trump Negotiates with Putin
644 -
15:27
robbijan
1 day ago $2.31 earnedThe Emperor’s New Labubu & The Spiritual War Behind Everything
28K36 -
LIVE
Badlands Media
2 hours agoOnlyLands Ep. 21
9,758 watching -
LIVE
Inverted World Live
6 hours agoThe War Against Robots w/ Joe Allen
5,288 watching -
LIVE
SpartakusLIVE
5 hours agoWARZONE NUKE IS BACK?! || Solo Challenge CHAMPION to start, duos w/ the Dawg later
945 watching -
LIVE
GritsGG
14 hours agoWin Streaking! Most Wins 3390+ 🧠
79 watching -
2:05:47
TimcastIRL
3 hours agoTrump FBI Raids John Bolton Amid Classified Docs Investigation | Timcast IRL
139K27 -
2:15:23
TheSaltyCracker
3 hours agoFinally Someone Gets Raided ReEEeStream 8-22-25
52.6K139 -
LIVE
I_Came_With_Fire_Podcast
15 hours agoChina's New Ship Killers, EU Dead, Shooter HOAX, and The Missing Woman
156 watching