Former PM Having a Great Time Spending Your Money

Former Prime Minister Kevin ‘07’ Rudd, you remember, the one that ousted John Howard, and then for a time seemed to walk on water, then crashed in spectacular fashion, ditched by his own party, with Julia Gillard taking the reins, and then in 2013, the Labor Party booted out Julia in favour of Kevin again, and then 83 days later, he got booted out by the Australian public. Remember that guy? Well, around ten years later, he became the Ambassador to the United States, and now he’s living it up in his giant Washington DC Ambassador’s Residence, of course, funded by you the taxpayer. Your money has been spent on very important diplomatic events such as pride parties. This is from the Ambassador’s Instagram account from June last year. The man in pink is drag queen DJ Kitty Glitter, who was hired to perform at the event. In total, the event cost more than $20,000, I’m not sure if that’s US dollars, or Australian, either way, your taxpayer money hard at work. And here’s another one from June this year. You can never have too much taxpayer-funded pride. What’s that old proverb? Pride goeth before a fall.

News coming out today says that the Ambassador has turned the embassy into quite the party palace with thousands of dollars spent on booze, butlers and a barbeque. Don’t worry, invoices released by the Department of Foreign Affairs show the barbeque only cost around $15,000. Union Secretary Sally McManus attended the Ambassador’s Residence during her time in Washington having afternoon tea costing around $1700. But a drop in the ocean! I often spend over a $1000 on afternoon tea.

Noting that a DFAT spokesman said that “Hosting events that draw attendance from diverse, influential stakeholders is a core part of diplomacy and advancing Australia’s policies, priorities and interests.”

The life of the Ambassador in the US is a hard job. You have to take photos with dogs. You have to take photos with cats. You have to hang out with current and former prime ministers. You have to attend movie events. You have to feign interest in people’s conversations. You have to point at Australian biscuits. You have to ask American school children what they think about Australia. You have to take your wife out to expensive restaurants. And of course, you have to vote (for Labor). But most importantly, you have to spend as much taxpayer money as possible. Because if you don’t, who will?

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Allégro by Emmit Fenn