when some you lose some

I had the opportunity to meet someone that had some PM research replica machine models all that were unfinished it that needed to be fully machined and he was selling them for $50 to me a piece but I couldn't come up with the money I don't have any support on my channels so I'll I don't know if they're going yet but I know if I had the money I would have scooped up on all of them it was six of them all together but you win some you lose some.. one day it'll come to the point where I won't have to pass things up I won't have to miss out on on amazing things like that like that's the one thing I wanted my my videos to be modeled after was doing the model Machining and especially as a hobby and maybe I could take it to another level at some point but I mean it breaks my heart that you know I haven't earned no trust with anyone in my on my channels I haven't I figured by now I would have earned some trust and some people would be supporting me and standing by me but I still haven't got there yet and I don't blame no one I blame myself I don't know what it is about myself but I turned that off on people I just turned that off on people I try to be completely transparent honest about my past I don't you know I always try to be positive and it just doesn't work out for me but you win some you lose some