"Meat Me Halfway: The Carnivore Diet Chalenge"

Greetings, earthlings! Today, we're diving into the wild world of the carnivore diet, where vegetables are as rare as a quiet day in the life of a spaceport. But fear not, for I shall guide you through this meaty adventure!
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So, you're thinking about eating like a caveman, but without the berries? Here's your step-by-step guide to the carnivore diet, where the only green you'll see is on your steak.

Step 1: The Meat Manifesto**
First off, your fridge should look like a butcher's dream. Meat, fish, eggs - if it had a face or a mother, it's on the menu. But remember, variety is the spice of life, or in this case, the different cuts of meat.

Step 2: Salt - Your New Best Friend
Salt isn't just for your fries anymore. On a carnivore diet, it's like your electrolyte's bodyguard. Don't skimp on the salt, unless you want to feel like a deflated balloon.

Step 3: Eat Until Satisfied, Not Stuffed
Eat like a lion, not like you're at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Satisfaction, not gluttony, is the key. Remember, you're not in a meat-eating contest.

Step 4: No Snacking Allowed
If you're snacking, you're doing it wrong. This isn't a diet for the snacky. Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're not. Simple, yet for many, surprisingly hard.

Step 5: The Carnivore Kitchen
Here's how to make a carnivore burger bun, or as I like to call it, a 'chaffle'. Because who needs bread when you can have cheese that looks like bread?